#and kind of useless HOPE that what you know is going to happen isnt going to happen
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Sometimes my subconscious brain just gives me Bad Endings
#just had another assault dream#in the end - basically when I get assaulted - I tried to make the dream go anothrr way#but it didn't work#i tried giving potential good endings#or like ones where the two guys run off instead#but nah that's not what happened#and even after it happened i was like#you know what maybe I can imagine it was Atumu and not me#so i could be a little less traumatized you know#but nah my brain was like no this is your assault not Atumu's#he's got his own and I've got mine#my brain won't let me pawn this one off on him#i was like I could turn this into an OC thing?#and my brain was like nah brah#just you#its not even like fear#its just dread#and kind of useless HOPE that what you know is going to happen isnt going to happen#like you know what they are gonna do but you just hope maybe??? they wont ???
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sorry if this is an odd question, but how did you become a park ranger? and did you "always" know you wanted to be a park ranger? (as in, did you decide this long ago and went to the right schools for it, or did it just sorta happen because of your educations?)
it seems like such a fascinating job, i feel like i would enjoy it but alas ive never been really good at the subjects required for it, but that doesnt stop me from daydreaming and looking at your posts about your job with like... is there a word for when youre kinda jealous of someone but in a kind and inspiring way? like "wow wish that were me!" but in a sweet way? haha im sorry, english isnt my first language and i just woke up and decided to send this
i hope you have a good day!!
Not an odd question at all!
So, as for how I became a park ranger, I live blogged the process in real time when I was first applying. In short, get two years of college (ideally a degree), learn how to write a good federal resume (it's different), apply for 100 jobs (easy once you get going), and get one job offer. The first seasonal job is the hardest, then the first permanent job. Lateral moves are really easy once you have your foot in the door. The government doesn't want to take risks on hires, but once someone else has vetted you, you can go anywhere.
And I absolutely did not always want to be a park ranger! It's like the ideal job I dreamed of at age 5, but I didn't go to school with this in mind, I wasn't dreaming about it at night. I needed a job, and this seemed like a good fit, so I went for it! It's probably a 60/40 split at my park, people who fell into this versus people who went and got one of those "Parks Management" sort of degrees that are totally useless outside this career path (and tbh really not necessary IN this career path).
And you should totally apply. The NPS manages A LOT of sites focusing on a lot of topics, and even in sites that are irrelevant to what you actually study, you'd still be bringing good skills in. Among our permanent staff I work with directly every day, we have a Parks Management degree, a music degree, geology/environmental science, biology, spanish, economics, and film arts something or other. Our summer staff has even more diverse educational backgrounds. If you're willing to put in the work, and you give a shit about where you are, you'd be a good park ranger.
As someone who lives vicariously through a lot of people, I'm happy to know some pictures and stories I'm posting here are giving you good day dream material!
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oooooooo im. im wavibg my fingers tell me about juno
ooooooo
ooohhhhhh noooooo… ive been hypnotized by your finger wibbling…. i guess i have to talk about hiiimmmm……
@ my fellow players in the d4 campaign DONT READ THIS. none of them actively use tumblr but jic
(LOTS of text under cut)
the first thing i always always always say about him is that he fucking SUCKS. hes the worst man alive i hope he dies im literally obsessed with him. juno infyris is a tiefling celestial warlock :3 his patron god is homebrew that i made myself! basically he grew up in the underdark (gracklstugh to be specific) doing odd jobs to make enough money to leave. since almost all of the underdark is under lolth, he genuinely just didnt. think gods were real. he was an atheist he just thought everyone else was in a cult on something LMFAO once he was old enough he started a little shop of his own selling fake magic items (most of which he stole). like spamton but not actually like spamton at all. now while setting up his window display for candlenights he ACCIDENTALLY SUMMONED A DEITY. shes like ohhh brave one you have summoned me….. your wish is my command… i shall aid you in your journeys…. and hes like Uh Um Uhhh Can You Help Me Out. (<- INCREDIBLY UNSPECIFIC THING TO SAY TO A LITERAL GOD.) she takes this and fuckinf runs with it hes now soulbound to this deity thats trying to make him a better person and have him do good deeds and stuff amd he HATES IT. as aforementioned he is the worst fucking guy alive hes greedy and selfish and an all around bastard who literally scams people for a living and now all of a sudden hes forced to be a good person or else god will kill him and its the funniest dynamic ive ever written. anyways he escapes his master and leaves the underdark and meets up with the party etc etc etc BUT i wanna talk more about his life before then. see the underdark is a really shitty fuckinf place to live for like 90% of the population and basically anyone that isnt a drow or duergar. SO. you can imagine his life kind of sucks. he is forever in servitude of at least one master at all times & is FOREVER trying to convince everyone he meets to let him live. he used to have wings, in fact! however when they grew in, his master used him for his wings & made him do a bunch of shady shit for him before cutting them off, not wanting juno to seem too valuable to others and have him stolen. juno currently doesn’t remember ever having wings & is convinced hes just naturally discoordinated and clumsy but in reality he’ll never fully acclimate to living without his wings. for all of the 18 years he lived in gracklstugh he spent every day trying to be good enough so that he wouldn’t be deemed useless and killed. his main tactic for this is flirting. see, he knows he’s fucking annoying, and he’s spent years trying to ‘fix it’, and he just can’t. so if he cant change his personality, he believes his only use is his looks. he’ll flash a charming smile and a kiss on the cheek to the vendor he’s currently robbing, distracting them so that he can steal just enough to get by. he’s fucking pretty, and he knows it, so he uses it to his advantage. he exists as an accessory, something to be used, and believes that’s the entirety of his worth. when he escapes the underdark by killing his master (with the help of angel, another pc in our campaign), he takes his left eye out. the scar changes everything. if he’s not pretty, not appealing enough, then he’s fucking useless. he finally got his chance to escape the underdark and now he’s going to be left to die as soon as he sees the sun for the first time. OBVIOUSLY THIS ISNT WHAT HAPPENS. throughout the campaign, one of the other pcs, rpck (no that’s not a typo his name is rpck) falls in love with him. this shit changes EVERYTHING his entire worldview begins to crumble as he learns he can finally be loved and. Yeaghf. im fucking normal about him. theres ALWAYS more i can say abt him but this is long enough already LMFAO thank u for letting me ramble jack :-)
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Uhhhhh how long have we known that that's utter bullshit???
not the worst tbh at least she says that they could get hormones but with these waiting times good luck
OH GREAT MORE BEUROCRACY MORE I HAVE TO PROVE IM A REAL TRANNY BEFORE YOU LET ME HAVE MY FUCKING LIFE SAVING MEDS. THANKS.
oh yay, it really is all about making fucking babies isnt it, come on, also fertility isn't affected that much like??? all endocrinologists say that its a terrible birth control measure
okay, the "continuity service" doesn't sound too awful, IF its implemented correctly, which you just know it won't be. the other option they give is to extend GIDS to 25yo which would actually be excluding under 25s from hormones and surgery
i didn't see an explicit call for conversion therapy but they definately called for more therapy sessions without specifying the kind, just that it's specifically for gender diverse people. they did include a call for therapy care included with endo not separated but that was just a quote from a "youth respondant" so doesn't have any weight behind it
ADDITIONALLY they called for more comorbidity assessments specifying autism spectrum disorder, yknow, that disorder that once youre diagnosed, clinicians will blame all your gender troubles on that
absolutely agree there, there isn't a single political party that actively helps trans people. at all. fuck labour and the tories and whoever else but it doesn't matter bc hey emergent two party system
i think the post above is taking a very negative stance to this, the review does call for a change in policy over name changes or social transition or surgery - it is dealing primarily with the under 18s service which does not offer surgery - and i cant see policy regarding name change or social transition changing unless things get really bleak (the government would have to go back to banning cross dressing which i think would start riots actually) but i can absolutely see things getting so much worse following this review. i just hope that these recommendations are implemented in good faith, i hope and i hope and i hope
also yes i did note the "all research on this topic is badly done except for mine, mine is good" attitude in the review which is fucking disgusting and they use it to try to claim that since all this research is apparently useless that all these treatments should be considered experimental. also the insistance that "puberty blockers use in children was developed in the late 20th century and is experimental and untested" - babygirl thats 25 years at least, thats actually closer 50 years if you look at the actual timelines and also medicine is not so slow that something stays experimental and unsafe for 25 fuckin years
they claimed that "we don't know how many people will change their mind ooo what if bad thingn happen" then pull up a table that says detransitioners are such a tiny minority that they don't have a pencentage but its too small"
on the positive side: the review does suggest a lot of good logistical improvements and recommends the opening of more clinics to reduce waiting and the standardisation of care across the country. that is all the good points.
i very much skim read this and focused in on certain parts that i think are more important so if i missed anything please correct me
addendum (oo fancy word): i really don't see why this review is needed, yeah we needed improvements but we already knew what those were and plus the review was literally brought about by terfs having a meltdown so yeahh.. i just thing hormones and shit shouldn't be gatekept, sure theres an argument for managing children's access but honestly not a particularly strong one but as soon as you're an adult you should just be able to get them easily, shake it up a little and not need to prove "a constant desire to behave like the opposite gender"
OH YEAH ALSO NHS AND UK GOV IN GENERAL STILL REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT NON BINARY PEOPLE EXIST, HOUSES OF TWATS
not nearly enough people are fuming about the cass review. do you understand the eventual implications? trans people in the uk will be considered children up until the age of 25, and denied HRT/surgery/even basic measures like legal name change and social transition. all owing to a biased and largely unscientific study. you know what “treatment” for gender dysphoria is recommended by the review instead? conversion therapy.
this will kill people and they know it, because they prefer us dead and out of sight. the government, the NHS and even the opposition have made this clear again and again. a twenty-five year old can have sex, get married have children, join the military, earn a living, be halfway up the corporate ladder or highly successful in their chosen career field by that age, but they can’t transition under NHS rules. this is a death sentence for trans teenagers and they are going ahead with it. it’s trans genocide, same as across the pond.
i’m so afraid for my trans siblings and our futures. i’m so scared for myself. what are we to do if not even the party that is supposed to be on the “left” gives a shit about our safety and mental health as long as they get voted in? labour have become tories with a red coat of paint. it all feels hopeless
#this was meant to be a quick rant not a mini essay fuck#op i feel your fucking anguish and i wish i could help#its 3.51am im going to sleep now
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Going to School with Ranboo!|| 📌
[i was going to answer this but i was a big dummy dum dum and accidentally deleted the ask bUT I REMEMBERED YOU DEAR ANON]
irl / in-game
Genre| fluff and (minor) angst
h e a d-c a n n o n s||
Sypnosis|
You and Ranboo go to school together, so have some scenarios and thoughts about it!!
Artist| grapeichie on twitter!!
warnings| bullying, stress, swearing
Note: you are a streamer in this!! You are also in the SMP!
optional platonic or romantic!!
- so going to school with Ranboo is both amazing and weird. You two have tons of stories of the dumb shit that happened there.
- Nobody will ever find Y/N and Ranboo far apart, even if you guys dont share classes one of you will randomly appear and at this point no one questions it
- Both of you meeting up at eachothers classroom/locker to walk together to your next destination
- Both of you helping eachother with schoolwork, Ranboo would totally tutor you in any subject you struggle with. Both of you go to his house but you two end up getting bored, so he does a Facecam stream with you in the background vibing. (It was so much fun)
- You guys are both the teacher’s favorites and least favorites. You both add so much life to the school but thats the exact problem.
- Y/N: haha look at that high waisted man he got feminine hips!!
Ranboo: NOOOO THATS THE THING HE’S SENSITIVE ABOUT
That Poor Teacher:
- I can totally imagine some kids in your school being invested in the SMP and both of you just nervously sweat in the background. Bonus points if ya’ll’s friends are into it so its just absolute panic
- You trying to help him not be awkward, especially when it comes to talking to new people. I can totally see like a new girl trying to talk to him and he just panics, so you have to step in and explain and help the poor boy out.
- You two are like,, inseparable. Like literally rarely does anyone see you guys apart. So this kinda urks some people who have crushes on him, or literally just your stereotypical bully.
- So one day while you we’re grabbing things for your next class, someone slammed against the locker next to yours, slamming yours shut in the process.
“Well well well, if it isnt the clingy one. Im surprised your not with that dork, you two practically don’t function without the other.” The guy snickered, leaning forward directly in Y/N’s face.
“And how is that any of your concern? And why does it matter?” Y/N said, standing straight up staring at the guy. “Because your fucking pathetic, thats why. Your useless without him and both of us know it.” He spat, pushing Y/N to the floor with a thud, they’re books crashing to the ground around them. Snickers could be heard from around them, as well as gasps and ‘oh-no’s’.
“Awww whatcha gonna do now, freak? You gonna go cry to that loser? Because i have a better idea. Your gonna shut up, and if not, he gets hurt.” The boy said, picking Y/N up by the collar of they’re shirt, and soon slamming them back into the lockers. All he did was laugh and walk away, muttering “pathetic, good for nothing freak.”
- You went home by yourself that day, usually Ranboo walks you home so you two can hangout, but you were nowhere to be seen. This went on for 2 weeks, and you practically avoided him at all costs, not wanting him to get hurt.
- But when he walked into school one day and saw Y/N being harassed by a group of people, he surely wasn’t the one hurt.
“Awww, cant move?” One said, twisting Y/N’s wrist even more, bruising they’re arm as they whimpered in pain. “Awww i think they’re gonna cry!!” Someone else chimmed in, one girl quickly said “better take a picture of this before the moments gone.” As she giggled, snapping a photo of you in the middle of being bullied.
“Delete it, and leave.” Ranboo said, looking down at the three who were currently tormenting you. You looked so sad yet happy, but you knew what was about to happen. “I thought i fucking told you not to tell him, guess your getting it.” The guy said, kicking your stomach and slamming you against the lockers.
You never in your wildest dreams expected Ranboo to punch someone, he was so sweet and charismatic, very passive and neutral. But now, your bully laid on the floor, a bloody nose, and Ranboo towering over him. “Dont. Touch. Them.” Ranboo snarled, leaning down and looking at the bully directly in the eyes.
- A fight soon broke out, leaving one guy with a black eye, bloody nose and a bruised arm and shoulder. Ranboo got suspended, but you left with him, not wanting to be at school and instead with him.
- While walking home he stopped, pulled off his white and black hoodie, put it on you, and soon enveloped you in a hug. Y/N return the favor, and all he said shakily was ‘i love you’
- God no one ever fucked with Y/N again everyone was scared spineless
- The entire SMP had a ‘bruh’ moment when you two told them. Of course Techno was very happy about Ranboo beating some kids up.
- But like back to happy stuff,,
- Kahoot? Idk if you guys play it in school but i do, and both you and Ranboo are such a power duo in Kahoot games
- Trading each others lunch because thats what duo’s like you two do, share with the homies
- Both of you being referees in sports because if other wise someone is going to accidentally get hurt
- You having to walk Ranboo to the nurses office after he got hit in the face with a basketball.
- The librarian does not like the fact you two cannot be quiet. You both are constantly cracking up and can never keep it down
- I know for a FACT one of you got your hands on the teacher’s computer, and i know one of you are playing memes during class while your Teacher is screeching
- All your teachers think both of you are cheating because you have synced brains and get every single answer the exact. same.
- Pulling some kind of huge end of the year prank
- Both of you speaking in zoomer language and not even your classmates have any idea what your saying
- I can see both of you accidentally writing/typing ‘pog’ into a essay/class assignment and your teacher being VERY confused
- Blasting fan-made songs about both of your guys characters and everyone liking them, and both of you are just giggling and smiling because they dont know
- Your friend group see you two doing something and they’re just like “ah shit, here we go again”
- Both of you going to school events only to ensue chaos and be idiots
- On the first day one of you getting lost and the other having to go fetch the other one
- Both of you crashing at the others house to study but it probably didnt go well
- You two are honestly just encased in your own little shared bubble, just vibing and being yourselves
- i feel like this is going on forever and most of it was just angst so I’ll go ahead and cut this off lol
a/n: TWO UPLOADS IN ONE DAY??? CALL ME GO-
Okay but in all seriousness i hope this was not total shit and actually pleasant to read. Idk i just feel like this bad
Anyways I promise I’ll get to working on pt. 2 of dad wilbur but i have some other requests i need to work on. But in the meantime simp for Ranboo and Wilbur okay bye
#ranboo x reader#ranboo imagine#ranboo fanfiction#mcyt x reader#mcyt fanfiction#dream smp x reader#mcyt imagine#dream smp fanfiction#dsmp x reader#dream smp imagine#dsmp fanfiction#dreamer posts ♠️
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Plz oh great author. I would just like... some dadV content. Just like. V and a child reader. Plz.
This probably isnt what you expected but, here's V being an adopted dad for a 5 year old reader in the ruins of Redgrave. It's not good, but its work. Ig
V x Child! Reader
Dad!V in the rubble of Redgrave.
You hide under the remnants of your bed. The ripped mattress and splintered frame providing little shelter from the horrors that lie beyond your eyelids. You weren't asleep, but still subscribed to the belief that the monsters couldn't get you if they thought you were asleep.
The sound of footsteps approaching lit a flame of hope in your heart, only for it to crash down the moment you heard the monsters come again.
It was so loud, crashing, screaming... were they fighting? If it was battle it ended quickly. And whatever entered your room won. You let out a soft whimper, curling into yourself. The foot steps approach the mess you called a bed. The sound of the mattress being pulled slightly made you burst into tears.
"Well, what do we have here?"
You open your tear filled eyes to see an adult, his black hair and dark clothes. "Mommy left me again- Are the monsters gone!?" His face was almost devoid of emotion. "Yes." "Are you sure?" At first. A smile smile splits his face as he offers you a tattoted hand. "Positive, little one."
_
We've seen before that he could care less about children at first glance, but the mentioning your mother leaving you caused him to instantly attach to you.
Alone, afraid, but this time, no way to protect yourself.
Deep down something inside of him told him that he needs to protect you. To take the job that your obviously useless mother could not handle.
You latch onto him quickly as well, your new protector. You think he's so cool, with his weird clothes, tattoos, and the funny things he says.
The second night he had you, you fell asleep pressed up against him as read a loud.
_
"When we see not thro the eye. Which was born in a night to perish in a night. When the soul slept in beams of light..."
He stops, green eyes boring down at your sleeping form. Your little hand wrapped over the edge of the corset under his coat. A small smile splits his face. Dispite all you had gone through, you still held peace. You would smile up at him after minutes of tucking your head into his side to hide your eyes from the gore that went on in front of you.
Your resilience is unyielding, and he cant help but admire that. It can make him forget that you are just a child. But now, layed out against his heart, he can see your vulnerability more then ever. You were so talkative, so kind, so soft, so... so... human. So very human. Just as he is now.
_
After some time with him, you'll be able to recite whole poems. And god he's never been more proud.
Technically, he's homeless, so finding somewhere safe for you to sleep is his first priority.
You never sleep alone. Never. Either he or one of his familiars is with you.
Scratch that, you are never alone.
He wasnt surprised by Shadow's fondness of you, but was by Griffon's.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah pip squeak, just don't pull on my feathers anymore."
V is easily annoyed, especially by people who talk too much. Unless it's you.
He can sit and listen to you chatter on in excessive detail about the random things you know.
Maybe that's why you and Griffon can get along. It's a constant back and forth of random facts and jokes that go right over your head.
You just like that he talks to you, he likes that he can make any joke and you won't get upset or offended.
V however, hates that he does this.
Seeing as how V tries his best to shield you from the world. You've already suffered so much.
He takes on the task of "dad" rather quickly.
_
You close your eyes tight as he pours the water from his cupped hands over your hair. V hums softly as he scrubs the filth from your skin. It was rather uncomfortable, taking a bath in a fountain, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as caked on dirt and splatters of demon blood. "We're almost done, I promise."
As soon as he found you to be clean enough he takes off his long leather jacket, dispite it just getting dry, he pulls you out and wraps it around you. He lays out your now dry and somewhat clean clothes and let's you try to dress yourself. Shadow letting you lean on her as you tug your clothes back on.
The warmth from fire used to cook the demon meat is enough to make you feel sleepy, if the exhausting day wasnt enough. You leaned against V's side, curling into him. His arm coming around you, assuring you that you're safe.
_
He accepts that he's pretty much your father very quickly.
But it hurts him. He knows what he has to do, and when that happens, what will happen to you? Who could he possibly trust to care for you?
He takes you everywhere, and doesn't let anything touch you.
It's truly Infuriating to him that he doesn't have the strength to carry you. Of course you ride on shadow, but when they handle demons you are left to mercy of the world.
The two of you being attached at the hip leads to a lot of confusion.
Mostly from Nero
"Why the hell do you have a kid???"
When he finally gets to settle down in Nico's van, you get to lay down for a nap.
And he leaves again, he leaves you to sleep. It was safe and he knew you would be fine there, and you definitely needed to sleep.
Nico, surprisingly, didnt mind you.
The entire time he was so nervous. It's been weeks, and this is the first time you haven't been with him.
When V eventually returns, he finds you chatting Nero's ear off. He didn't seem to mind though, he sat quietly with a smile as you talked.
It hit him then.
You could be safe without him.
_
He watched you fiddle with the metal fingers on Nero's devil breaker as you spoke. The young man making the fingers move, to your delight. Your eyes glowed and you looked up at Nero, he nods to what you're saying with a wide smile.
All of the worries in V's head melt away, but are soon replaced with a feeling of melancholy. You would be fine, you would be safe. Without him. He steps in, your head snaps to him, joy spreading on your features as soon at you realize. You run up to him, hugging his leg tightly.
It wasnt long until he has to leave again, and he knew it was the last time he would see you. And somehow, you knew something was wrong. Your small hands rest on his cheeks, sadness written on your entire being. He pulls you close, whispering to you softly. "I will see you again my little one. I will see you again."
Tiny arms hold tight around his neck, warm, wet tears slip down and fall onto his skin. "Are you sure?" "Positive, little one." You hold on tight to him, even after he lets go. Theres a soft whisper, bairly audible. "I love you, daddy." Then, you let go.
Getting to wave him off while holding onto Nico's leg.
_
He knew he wouldnt see you again, either he dies, or becomes one again. The likelihood of seeing you again with both of those options is little to none.
But he feels peace, you'd be safe. You are safe.
He gets weaker and weaker.
He's been close to it before, but this must be what dieing feels like.
Before reuniting with his other half, he still tries to make sure that you will be okay.
His crumbling body is leaning on Nero, hobbling to the end of his life.
"The child... If you survive, take care of them."
#dmc v x reader#v x reader#v x child reader#dad v#child reader#devil may cry x reader#dad!v#ughhhhh#painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn#requests
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Okay here are my thoughts on volume 2 and season 4 as a whole:
-Will being pushed to the back was so unnecessary. Him and El are kinda the main characters of this show and there was a lot of El which was rlly nice but Will really wasnt there this season and why? Like i genuinely dont understand why. I missed him hes my favorite character
^ And mike and johnathan too?? like usually mike is so important hes like comes up plans and shit and he just wasnt?? there?? and i kinda feel like mikes character was nuked this season. His (and Wills) whole plotline this season was around his relationship with El... come on I want to see little micheal wheeler fight monsters with his friends. and ive also seen a lot of people reminding us how caring he was in season 1 and 2 and yeah. he rlly was and i miss that i dont believe that puberty hit and now mike only cares abt el like his character doesnt make sense anymore and i dont know why
- I honestly lowkey hated the cali plot and i rlly feel like the show would have been a lot better if the byers never moved. like they had to relocate bc of El and Joyce wanted a fresh start or something i dont remember but they very easily could have just not wrote that in. I just think that a lot of problems ppl are having with this season could have been avoid if the byers never moved.
-Aryle... hes definitely great. But i just...you know hes a fun character but thats kind of ALL he is. he is literally just a comic relief and is pretty useless throughout the whole season besides driving the cali gang which could have easily been done by johnathan instead of introducing a whole new character that probably isnt going to stay next season because hes supposed to be in california (which you know this whole problem could have been avoided if the byers never moved)
-the way our characters were split this season was a little weird but also not? like it made sense bc the groups this season were based off of just where everyone was but like i said, i wish the byers never moved. plus all the fan favorites were in hawkins and sometimes it felt like that was the only important storyline happening. like the cali gang just felt so behind compared to what was happening in hawkins
-my whole life would be infinitely better if every season was still set during halloween each year
-As much as i love this show, I think some of its charm has been lost... As our characters (mostly talking abt the kids here because they have always been the main focus since the beginning) have grown up it feels like maybe the duffers and writers of the show have focused a little too much on the fact that they are growing up and having relationships instead of focusing on what the show was originally about. a fun sci-fi show with monsters and kids saving the day and having little lighthearted relationships in the corner. I dont know if my point if coming across right but like it felt like theres just a little too much focus on the characters romantic relationships and honestly i dont care!! i want to watch monsters and kids figuring out how to defeat them in a fun 80s aesthetic! i am tired of the drama between stancy and jancy and as much as i would love byler i would be okay with mileven if they would have focused on their relationship less bc like i said earlier his relationship with el was mikes entire plotline this season. which just makes me sad because i usually love his character. yes even thought hes a little shit thats what makes him so loveable, because hes a little shit and he used to care abt saving all of his friends
This kind of ended in a rant but those were the problems I had with this season. I was definitely disappointed with a lot of stuff in volume 2 but I still enjoyed watching it as much as I could because this show is still really good and means a lot to a lot of people. I hope the duffers can like fix themselves because I would hate to see this show get like ruined because of bad writing in the later seasons.
#stranger things#will byers#mike wheeler#el hopper#will deserves better#i hope all the points i was trying to make actually were there lmao#steve and nancy should just stay away from each other at all times i cant#st4#st4 vol2
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Mistexting Mayhem
Pairing: Nishinoya X Reader
Words: 1.6K
Summary: You accidentally send Nishinoya a text that was meant for Yachi and now he’s knows secrets you were hoping he never found out
A/N: If you think this fic is anything but crack you’re wrong lmao I’ve always wanted to write a fic with this style and Noya is great for the chaos i needed. It was fun
Masterlist
[6:40pm] idiot⚡: look y/n without adhd id be too powerful
i could beet god himself in handtohand combat
god was afraid of my raw fuckin awesomeness wen i bursted from the woom
[6:41pm] y/n: there is so much wrong with what u just said
[6:41pm] idiot⚡: i have absoltly no clue wat
[6:43pm] y/n: put those 3 brain cells to work. I believe in you
[6:43pm] idiot⚡: but theyve reached their daily quota
plz there so tired and overworked
You snorted, a dopey smile on your lips as you laid surrounded by textbooks and homework, swinging your feet in the air behind you. You focused intently on the cell phone in your hand doing everything you could to procrastinate the schoolwork around you.
[6:44pm] y/n: noyas so stupid
[6:44pm] yachi❤: i thought you liked him?
[6:45pm] y/n: jeez Yachi. dont come for my throat
i cant help that i have bad taste 🙄
[6:46pm] yachi❤: if it helps he tripped over a stray ball today
maybe think of that till you don’t like him??
Unfortunately, the image of Nishinoya waving to everyone then biffing it only had you smiling like a dork. How you’d gotten to a point that Nishinoya being an idiot made you swoon, you’ll never know.
You raised your eyebrow suspiciously at the new notification on Snapchat from ‘Tanaka’ and after swiping it open you nearly dropped your phone. Looking back at you was Nishinoya, his head tilted and eyebrow quirked in confusion with a gari-gari kun shoved halfway down his throat. The caption at the bottom reading ‘daaaammn look at your prince charming go 😩’.
You frowned at the picture, letting out a frustrated groan at how your heart accelerated against your ribcage. You quickly tapped out of it and reopened the messenger app.
[6:57pm] y/n: we have to kill Noya
[6:57pm] idiot⚡: we??? what kind of mission is this??? 😤
[6:58pm] y/n: i like him too much. he has to die. its for my own good
You waited impatiently for her response and almost debated doing your homework since it took longer than you felt necessary. You supposed you had suggested murder to Yachi, but still…
When you finally received a response your entire body froze.
[7:11pm] idiot⚡: U LIKE ME?!?!? 😍
UR KILLING ME?!?! 😢
IM SO CONFUSED......
and a lil turned on ngl👀
Your hand covered your mouth in horror as you processed what the hell you had just done. This didn’t happen to people in real life. Mistexting was stuff people made up when they created fake texts for social media to get likes. You didn’t think people actually went through this.
You opened new notifications to escape the hell that stared you straight in the face.
[7:15pm] Tanaka💪: Yo, whatd u do. Whys Noya having a panic attak
[7:16pm] y/n: I accidently texted him instead of Yachi and told him i liked him 😣
[7:16pm] Tanaka💪: O wtf thats hilarious 😂
[7:17pm] y/n: ITS NOT HILArIOUS
[7:18pm] Tanaka💪: Hes askin if its a prank. Wat do i do?
[7:19pm] y/n:I DONT KNOW SDKFHJN IM THE IDIOT WHO STSRTED IT
He stopped responding and you banged your head against your pillow anxiously.
[7:23pm] y/n: YACHI ITOLD NoYA I LKED HIM AND NOU HE NOS WAY DO JI DO!?!????! 😭😭😭
[7:23pm] idiot⚡: THIS ISNT YACHI!!!!
HOLY FUKC U DO LIEK ME!!!
You screamed into your pillow. Were you fucking kidding? This could not be happening.
[7:25pm] Tanaka💪: dude, twice? i cant save u now 🤪
[7:25pm] y/n: betraying me in my time of fucking need? i’ll remember this asshole
[7:26pm] Tanaka💪: so vulgar 👀
You growled at Tanaka’s uselessness and bravely peeked through one eye as you went back to your conversation with Nishinoya.
[7:24pm] idiot⚡: STOP IGNORING ME I KNO UR TEXTING RYU
[7:26pm] idiot: IM GONNA KEEP SPAMMING U TILL U ANSWE RME😤
[7:26pm] idiot⚡: 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
[7:27pm] y/n: what is this twitch chat? fuck
[7:28pm] idiot⚡: your heeeeererererreee 🥰
[7:29pm] y/n: soooooo………..
clearly there has been a misunderstanding
[7:29pm] idiot⚡: oh nonono. I understand PERFETCLY. u LOVE me
its ok. this is a safe space. we can discuss feelings 😌
[7:31pm] y/n: there are zero feelings to discuss
[7:31pm] idiot⚡: then y did u say u like me too much so i have to die?
[7:34pm] y/n: i am filled with rage 🤬
[7:34pm] idiot⚡: rage over how much u liiike me???🥰🥰🥰
[7:36pm] y/n: definitely not
You racked your brain for some kind of reasonable sounding excuse, eventually landing on:
[7:36pm] y/n: It was autocorrect
[7:36pm] idiot⚡: HAH????? FROM?????
[7:38pm] y/n: HAH???
....Nora?
[7:38pm] idiot⚡: Who TF is nora???? 😡
[7:39pm] y/n: someoe i like obviously 😏
[7:40pm] idiot⚡: so u like them but u use my name so much it autocorrected to me? 🤔
[7:44pm] y/n: OK MR DETEcTIVE WHERE TF ARE THES BRAIN CELS COMIN GFROM?
[7:45pm] idiot⚡: i pull them out for special ocasions 😌
[7:45pm] y/n: well how bout you pack those up and put em away
[7:46pm] idiot⚡: how bout two people who LIKE each other SAY something so they can DOOOOOOOO something bout IT 🙄
You began typing a frantic message about how it was none of his business until you processed the message. Then you read it over several times before letting out an audible, “what the fuck.”
[7:50pm] y/n: YOU LIKE ME
[7:50pm] idiot⚡: I FLIRT WITH U ALL THE TIME WAT DO U MEAN yOu LiKe Me!?!
FUCKING OBVIOSLY
[7:51pm] y/n: literally when. name one time.
[7:52pm] idiot⚡: I WALK WITH U EVERY MORNING!!!
[7:53pm] y/n: I thought that was a coincidence???
[7:54pm] idiot⚡: I BRNIG U SNACKS DURING LUNCH!!!
[7:54pm] y/n: I thought they were leftovers??
[7:55pm] idiot⚡: …....I call you cute and invite you to my games.
[7:56pm] y/n: you call everyone attractive and i thought there was like a audience quota or something........?
[7:57pm] idiot⚡: ….i cant tell who i should be upset with rn but i think its u 😑
[7:58pm] y/n: WAT WHY!?!
[8:00pm] Idiot⚡: I LIKE U+U LIKE ME=WE LIKE EACH OTHER
[8:01pm] y/n: whoa. slow down. I hate math 😣
[8:02pm] Idiot⚡: ===WE SHUD GO ON A DATE!!!
[8:02pm] y/n: HAH!? i think you started multiplying that addition problem buddy 🤨
Your cheeks were beginning to ache from how wide your dopey grin was. You couldn’t help but tease Nishinoya-it was second nature at this point-even if you now knew your feelings were mutual.
[8:04pm] idiot⚡: i suk at math but thats NOT the point
point iiissss i think deep down u want to hang out and cuddle and fall in love
maybe even..... 😏 kiiisssss
[8:04pm] y/n: WHOA WHOA WHOA
WARN ME BEFORE YOU GET NSFW
i would never premarital eye-contact. let alone k🤢ki-🤢🤢kiss🤢🤮🤮
[8:05pm] idiot⚡: well we would have socks on 🙄
[8:06pm] y/n: oh. well if there’s protection
[8:06pm] idiot⚡: Im not a maniac
[8:07pm] y/n: i suppose as long as you dont do something stoopid
like faceplant in public
that would be humiliating
[8:08pm] idiot⚡: I-
who told you that 😠
[8:08pm] y/n: i have spies everywhere noya
youre never safe
[8:09pm] Idiot⚡: kinda hot 👀
makin me fear for my life like that👀
[8:10pm] y/n: i hate that i like you
It kills me inside
i feel braincels leaving with every conversation
[8:12pm] Idiot⚡: fan behavior 😏
so am i taking u to eat tomorow or wat?
[8:14pm] y/n: if I HAVE to 🙄
[8:14pm] Idiot⚡: No u GET to
I am a fucking delite 😤
[8:15pm] y/n: whatever helps you sleep at night
[8:15pm] Idiot⚡: nothing helps me sleep at night. this mind never rests
[8:16pm] y/n: thinking 24/7 and still not a smart thing comes out of that mouth 👀
[8:17pm] Idiot⚡: yas, bully me more 😫
[8:19pm] y/n: ok thats as much as i can handle for one day......
im gonna pretend to do homework
[8:20pm] idiot⚡: okie... good luck my sweet baby pogchamp 🥰
[8:20pm] y/n: no
[8:20pm] Idiot⚡: 😘😘😘
[8:22pm] y/n: 🙄✋
[8:23pm] Idiot⚡: oh FUCK yas 🥵 shut me UP
[8:25pm] y/n: suddenly all i feel is endless regret
[8:26pm] Idiot⚡: i have that effect on people
See you tomorrow 🥰🥰🥰
[8:27pm] y/n: unfortunately 😘
[8:27pm] idiot⚡: 🥵
You flung an arm over your eyes and let a small giggle bubble up from your chest. Nishinoya was probably the biggest idiot you’d ever met, but you couldn’t help that thinking of spending time with him had you kicking your feet with excitement.
You supposed you should actually get started on your homework. You reached forward when a notification popped up from Yachi, asking if her idea worked and you had stopped liking Nishinoya.
...you should probably break the news, huh?
#nishinoya yuu#nishinoya imagine#nishinoya scenarios#nishinoya yu x reader#nishinoya x reader#nishinoya yu#tanaka ryuunosuke#yachi hitoka#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#hq nishinoya#nishinoya#nishinoya yū#haikyuu#nishinoya yuu x reader#haikyu x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyu!!#haikyuu x y/n
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Langa VS. the Assholes Who Hurt Reki
Summary: Langa and Reki have finally made up! But that doesn't mean that they no longer have problems.
(or, Langa just wants Reki to be happy, but for some reason people are very against that.)
Warnings: Swearing (Langa has has enough), Mentions of violence, Ad*m.
Words: 1.7k
(haha wdym the title is a star vs the forces of evil pun,,, no it isnt haha)
The stars in Okinawa reflected the sea, and the sound of their laughter along with the scraping of wheels against the cement ground is one that symbolizes peace, unity, and pure, unadulterated love.
Langa and Reki are alright again, and everything is right with the world.
"You... What?" Langa looked befuddled, an unidentifiable look on his features, as Reki nervously fiddled with his fingers, blushing from embarrassment. From what? He doesn't know.
"It's— it's not as bad as you think!" Reki said hurriedly, but by now there was a prominent frown on Langa's face, "it's— I was just ran over by a car—"
"Just," Langa emphasized, his voice uncharacteristically firmer and louder, "ran over by a car? Reki, do you think everyone just gets run over by a car? And do you think people who get run over by a car wake up in a love hotel? With a stranger?"
It's the next day since Langa and Reki's making up from their fight, and neither of them quite expected that the comeback of their roof-top lunches would start with Reki accidentally spilling that he was in a love hotel. Much less brought to a love hotel because he was ran over. By a stranger.
Everything was all so suddenly not-right, and Langa couldn't decide if this was better, or worse.
"—Langa? Hey, earth to Prince Langa!" Reki snapped his fingers in front of Langa's face, and the latter blinked, wondering when he started to get lost in his thoughts, and—wow. Reki seemed a bit too close to his face right now. Not that he was complaining.
There was a cute pout on Reki's lips, Langa guessed it was caused by his own neglect of their conversation. The former, though, upon noticing that his companion's eyes were on his lips, blushed bright red again, and brought back distance between them. Langa didn't stop the disappointed sigh from his lips, but the disappointment didn't last long.
His face once again etched up in concern, looking at Reki, who was facing down at the ground, his headband covering his cheeks, in an attempt to cool them down. Langa let a small, fond smile on his lips, before shaking it off once he remembered what Reki mentioned earlier.
"Reki, you can't just brush this off," Langa said, eyebrows furrowing and his chest hardening in both concern and frustration, "what else happened to you when I wasn't around?"
Reki sneaked a glance at Langa, before sheepishly turning away.
"Nothing," Reki said, but the lie obvious to Langa, "and you're talking a lot about this, like last night."
Langa frowned, "of course I am, you worry me a lot when you say 'it's nothing' or 'I'm fine'," he played with the hem of his shirt, before letting go and continuing, "because most of the time, you're lying."
Reki said nothing, only burrowing farther in himself. Langa huffed, frustration building up in him. If Reki thought it was surprising to see him chatty, he'll definitely have a heart attack after this.
Langa engulfed Reki in a hug, and it wasn't only the latter who gasped in surprise. Perhaps they've gathered some nosy onlookers?
Who cares?, Langa thought, Reki's the only thing that's important right now.
"Reki, be honest please?" Langa said, voice muffled, as he buried his face on Reki's shoulder.
"O-okay! Langa, okay, I'll tell you!" Reki stuttered out, a flustered mess, from the way he spoke, "just, let go, please?" He whispered to Langa, "people are kind of looking at us right now."
Langa didn't care who saw them, honestly. But he got what he wanted, and he didn't want Reki to be embarrassed too bad, so he let go of Reki's waist, and sat back to where he was positioned earlier.
He looked at Reki expectantly, but with patience. The latter picked at his nails in nervousness, wherein Langa took one of his hands to ease his anxiety.
Reki brought back Langa's hands, and started staring down at them and playing with them. He seemed to calm down, as his cheeks were no longer red, and Langa sent a dirty look to the passersby who were looking at them with keen interest, when Reki wasn't looking.
Reki swallowed, and looked up at him.
He scrunched up his face and looked away for a second, scratching his cheek with a finger, a small flush on his cheeks, "uhm..." letting out a sigh, Reki collected his thoughts and said, "erm, before I met you, I used to be in this sort of team? Gang? Thing... It was for skating." Reki added, upon the worried and horrified look on Langa's face, and the latter let out a sigh of relief, and encouraged him to continue.
"Er, they were sort of—they weren't really people I wanted to hang out with?" Reki mumbled, sheepishly, "they, uhm, they weren't really ones who enjoyed skating? They did it for the aesthetic, basically, and it made them sort of lame for me.
"So, I quit after three days."
Langa only seemed confused, so Reki added, "and well, I saw them while walking through the market and they kind of..." Reki mumbled the last part, and Langa blinked.
"'They kind of' what?" Langa pressed on, and Reki swallowed.
"They jumped me, but—" Reki immediately started to add, silencing a seething Langa with the palm of his hand.
Langa was nothing short of furious, and he was ready to tell Joe about this development to gang up on the little fucks that put a hand on Reki. And you know what? He'll do the same to that stranger! He'll make them have hell to pay, damn it, how dare they hurt his Reki.
But he couldn't express any of this right now, with Reki's hand on his mouth, so he (begrudgingly) let Reki continue.
"—but, it's fine! It's all in the past now. 'Sides, I kind of felt like I deserved it? I mean, I didn't actually deserve it—" he said, at the furious glare Langa sent to him, "it's just—well, it didn't compare to the people at S, y'know I—oops."
Reki flustered, detaching his palm from Langa's mouth to cover his own. Langa squashed the giddy feeling of that indirect kiss, and firmly, but with a gentleness Reki absolutely deserved, placed his hands on both of Reki's shoulders.
"What did 'the people of S' do, Reki?" Langa grounded out, tired of all of these people out to hurt Reki. Out of everyone he knew, Reki was the last one to deserve this much abuse.
Reki looked up at Langa, and knew he couldn't just lie his way out of not telling him. He looked down for a moment, simmering in guilt—of what?— and looked back up at Langa, setting his hands on his lap.
"They, uh. They would talk behind my back, and uhm, and talk about... How I'm just... A useless... Er," Reki struggled to find the words, and he felt tears sting at his eyes, and he looked up, not wanting them to fall. Langa felt guilty at making him relive these memories, but he needs to know exactly how he'll hurt these assholes.
Reki looked down, at his hands, and then at Langa, then he said, "they'd say that I'm no one... That I'm just... 'the guy who hangs around Snow'... Or just..." Reki bit his lip, "the one who's not Snow."
Langa was reminded of a meme, back from when he was still very much devoid of Reki and his kindness, talent, and all around amazing-ness. It was a dubbed line from an anime, wasn't it?
This is the first time in my life that I've been provoked to hit a woman.
Except they weren't a woman, in fact, they were the plethora of annoying assholes who made Reki feel worse than he already did.
Talk about kicking a guy while he was down.
"Names." Langa said, plain and simple.
"Huh?" Reki said, confused and flustered.
"I want their names, Reki."
"Langa, they were total strangers! Which makes it even more pathetic that their words got to me, honestly—"
"Don't blame yourself for them being stupid and blind." Langa said firmly, "you're amazing, Reki. Don't let them make you think otherwise."
At that, Reki smiled, and playfully punched Langa's shoulder, "thanks, Langa."
Before Reki could pull his hand away, Langa took it in both of his own, "I'm serious. You're so amazing Reki—"
Reki blushed, "th-thanks man, you're amazing too—"
"—you really don't understand, when you skate, you're the only thing I see—"
"—that's really enough!"
"—and you know exactly what I need, and you don't even have to try that hard to figure it out—"
"—is this even about skating anymore, Langa?"
"—and I think your headband is neat, but you look so cute without it, and your hair is a lot more fluffy—"
"Alright!" Reki squeaked out, just as the bell rang, signalling the end of the lunch period, "we'll talk about this later, we have to go back to school—er, class!" Flustered, Reki fixed his headband, and stomped his way back to the classroom.
Langa let out blissful laughter, and for now, he was satisfied with his work. He hoped it'd be enough for Reki to temporarily forget what those people did and said to him. Hoped it distracted Reki enough to not figure out that Langa was planning to find out everything with the rest of the gang, and would be punishing the ones who offended Reki accordingly.
He ran up to Reki, and offered his hand to the latter, whose cheeks were still flushed.
To his delight, Reki took his hand, and they walked down back to their classroom, hand in hand.
Later that evening, uncannily enough, Adam proposed an idea to the duo. A rematch, he had said, to redeem Reki of his loss in their last beef. There was an obvious, underlying malice, in his offer, though. Reki looked terrified, yet determined, but before he could agree, Langa had stepped in front of him, a chilling glower directed at Adam, who only smirked.
Langa had enough of people wanting to hurt Reki, and hated that smug face on Adam's features so much (it promised to hurt Reki to the point that he would be irreparable, and Langa was furious), that before Adam could even comment at Langa's protective stance, he had been punched in the face by the latter.
And, well, Joe seemed a bit inspired to do the same.
——————————————————————
A/N: haha i dont know how to make titles someone help
@andromeda612 @yunolik87
#also should i make a full fledged fic of joe and langa just beating up adam#i feel like it would be very necessary to us and our belief#renga#langa x reki#reki x langa#langa hasegawa#reki kyan#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#sk8 the infinity#im also planning to make a fic for the cindereki thing#we love pining langa but pining reki is smth that's so intimate...#sk8 the infinity spoilers#sk8 the infinity fanfic
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In Defence of Marcy
True Colors Spoilers
!--more-->
First off, imagine youre in first grade and you and your best friend in the whole world are just playing at a playground. You then get bullied, which isnt great, but then you get saved by another first grader, which is great! Your best friend immediately makes friends with the newcomer, and eventhough youre a little shy, you become friends with the new girl through association.
Over the years, your parents pressure you to excel academically and so you naturally have less time for friends, and your only friends are your best friends forever! And its no big deal~
But then Monday morning comes around and while you spent a weekend working on the group project, your BFFs were out having fun! Without you. When you should have been working together, but it's no big deal~
But it happens again and again, and soon you realize even though you try to share your interests with your BFF's, you realize you're kind of being brushed off but you have no other friends so you stick around, trying so hard to seen. Are your best friends, nah, is your best and first friend even still your friend anymore? You dont know. But you know you would do anything for them and would do anything to prove what a great friend you are. And how useful you are. Because if your not useful, you're useless, and you'll be abandoned, but you dont like thinking about that or facing that reality.
So you fall hard and fast into the world of fantasy. Youre time is divided between the reality school and trying to avoid that reality, with increasing pressure from your parents. You get left behind more and more, and still get updated about it. It sucks, but thats not really a conversation you can have. You are only 13 and can't really find the words.
So when your BFFs ditch school for the day without you, you feel a little left behind but whatever, it's no big deal ~
You study as usual at the library, find a fun fantasy book thats makes you laugh, then head home to hear you're bring ripped away from your only friends and it's already been decided. You havent made new friends in years and youre going to be alone forever. Your worst reality is coming true. Your parents don't understand, but maybe your friends will, so you run away. You have to find them. You have to tell them. Plead with them. Maybe they can make your parents change their mind.
Then, you find an atefact from the book. Maybe its real, dare you hope? Its probably a prop, but we have a laugh about it! And if it works, the three of you can be together forever! Youve all complained this reality at some point or another, and with your game/fantasy knowledge any adventure will be a breeze! I mean, you have bad parents, Sasha has bad parents, Anne's parents are nice but thats probaly only when guests are over, like your own parents.
So shenanigans ensue, your friends steals it (which i cant defend) and you go to open it.
You expect nothing with happen. After you hear the music from the box, you'll tell your friends the truth. You'll all have a laugh about its "magic properties" and then you'll tell them the bad news. Maybe you can just move in with one of them instead of moving away.
But then, the music box turns out to be real. And you and your friends have been separated across this new land. You didn't know that! You didnt know this would happen! You were supposed to be together!
But you get brought in front the king, your not sure how to act, so you act like someone else. The king becomes your friend, says he'll help you in your quest to reunite your friends, (because that is the quest of course, to find each other and return home with a better appreciation for your friendship) and your fantasy adventure starts! Surely your friend must have landed im similar spots yeah? And surely they are having their own fantasy adventures!
So the king tutors and maniulates Marcy by letting her go on quests and slowly "leveling up" her abilities. He is training her and manipulating her for his own gain, but Marcy is so happy to finally have a friend that listens to her and values her and needs her, that she tells him everything. And he uses that.
Of course the king knew Anne was in Wartwpod and Sasha was in Toad Tower, the toads reported it, and I'm sure that report made it to the king. I'm sure he kept Marcy far away so he could keep molding her into the person he needed her to be for his own plans.
And Marcy is none the wiser. She is so exicted to see Anne again! But she also sees how close Anne is to the Planters. Anne calls Sprig her best friend, and wait, what? That cant be right. You thought you her best friend? But again, and again, and again, Anne chooses Sprig over Marcy. Marcy is jealous, but she buries it, cause it's no big deal ~
She just has to prove how useful she is to Anne in this world! Obviously that's the issue. Anne just doesnt know. And once she proves how useful she is, Anne will be her friend again!
Except the king reveals Marcy's intentions in a negative light and Anne see this as Marcy's betrayal. Marcy sees her worst fear come to light, her best friend in the world, the person she would do anyrhing for, the person she built her life around (probably) is leaving her. All she wanted to do was be best friends forever and go on amazing adventures! No more expectations! No more parents! Isnt this what theyve all dreamed of? But this wasnt Anne's dream, and Anne is shocked Marcy would do this. Anne doesnt see Marcy as a friend.
And this is Marcy's breaking point. She gave Anne everything! Shes proven her worth! That means Marcy should get Anne's friendship!
But that's not how friendship works. And the status quo changes, the new quest becomes the old quest, of get home. A fight ensues, and well, Marcy ends up "dead". She regrets everything, not because she died, but because she broke Anne's trust.
She never meant for anything of this to happen, she just didnt want to be lonely. And thats not really something you can blame her for, can you?
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lee taeyong x reader
“my baby dont like it when you come around”
description. a new guy in college asks you for help to get rid of his girlfriend and slowly falls for you instead through your heated times with him.
genre. ANGST, college au, cheating au, bold/ arrogant reader x shy taeyong
warnings. none? except for the fact that this basically about cheating and having strong emotional tensions with each other, slighty suggestive
a/n. hihii i always thought of doing a ff about their baby dont like it song because its been in my head for so long HAHA also the lyrics are just uHem but yeah so anyways buckle up because theres going to be a lot of angst and tensionn also i didnt notice that i wrote so much like damn aNywAys enjoyy!
you walk into class lazily, expecting the same thing to happen again. as you step into the lecture hall, your eyes immediately went to your seat. you sigh and push you glasses up before walking over.
“i swear when will people stop doing this?” you mutter to yourself, shoving all the gifts off your table, making it all drop to the ground and producing a loud noise. everyone’s eyes are being drawn to your direction. you roll your eyes as mark takes his usual seat beside you.
“that’s the most you got this week.” mark laughs in disbelief, looking down onto the floor. you flash a fake smile at him, making him laugh even more. “its so annoying. none of them even look good.” your eyes scan through the gifts on the floor, seeing one that actually looks decent. you pick it up and examine it closely. mark gets near you and does the same.
“ill keep this one. looks expensive.” you shrug, shoving the expensive looking silver necklace into your bag. mark scoffs, letting his body sink into his seat. “i love the fact that you only care about the value of the gift.”
you click your tongue and stand up, proceeding to pick up all the useless gifts you received from the random guys on campus and walking over to the trash can, throwing it all away. you hear gasps and mutters around the lecture hall. you clearly couldnt care less, walking back, taking your seat and bringing out your materials.
“it cant be helped that youre the most beautiful one around here.”
“you think i dont know that? people do know that they shouldnt mess with me right? yet i need to keep up with unknown admirers and random texts of confession.” you let out a long sigh, as you rest your chin on the palm of your head, leaning onto the table.
“you admit youre beautiful. your confidence is truly amazing.” mark comments. you kept your eyes to the front as you watch your professor walk in, along with a new guy you’ve never seen before. your eyes remained on the guy, watching him climb up the stairs and walking to the seat next to you.
your attention changes to the professor as she starts talking. but your ears immediately diverted its attention to somewhere else, particularly to the guy next to you.
“why did you seat next to her? do you know how dangerous that is?” you hear the girl sitting behind him whisper. its no doubt that she purposely whispered loud enough for you to hear, wanting to make your blood boil. you ket your cool and focused on the lecture, taking notes accordingly.
“how so?”
“she’s hard to talk to. she only had mark as her friend and she gets pissed easily. her temper is the worst around here and she’s the most feared. a lot of guys like her for some reason and-”
“are you done, sweetie?” you lick your bottom lip as you turned around the face the girl. you hear mark hiding his laugh with a cough. “if you are, i really suggest you shut your mouth before i sew it shut for you.” your eyes glared at hers, staring at her intensively. you knew that it scared her when she immediately looks away. you chuckle in amusement before turning back to the front.
you look to the side, to see the guy’s eyes opened wide, with an eyebrow raised. you smile softly.
“lee taeyong.” you whisper, reading off the keychain attached to his pencil case, nodding your head before paying attention to the lecture again. the guy coughs softly and faced forward as well.
the lecture was now over and you start to pack up. you take your time since you know that it would be hectic to get through the large crowd of students who are also exiting as well as being able to avoid bumping into any guys and have them confess their useless affection towards you.
you were however intrigued to find out what’s going on outside when you hear someone whispering about the fact that there’s an extremely pretty girl waiting outside the campus.
by then, only you and mark were in the lecture hall. you figured it would be a good time to step out and find out the reason behind all the talking outside.
as you and mark walk down the hallway to the entrance, you tilt your head as you see a crowd forming at the gate. you sigh, taking off your glasses and rubbing your temples. “how the fuck are we suppose to get out?” you turn to mark with your eyebrows furrowed.
“im sure they’ll move aside once you come in.” mark places his hand on your shoulder and taps it lightly before walking forward towards the huge crowd with full confidence. you swear you can burst any minute as the the mumbles of the people fill your ears even more as you walk closer.
the moment one person makes eye contact with you. their eyes widened and signal their friends to quiet down. eventually, the noise starts to lower down as you made you way through the crowd. eyes were glued on you as you follow behind mark. you swiftly clean your glasses with the cloth in your pocket and put them back on.
as your vision starts to become clear, you notice that the one standing beside the girl is the lee taeyong guy from ealier. you walk over to them immediately.
you turn your head slightly to the back, signalling everyone to get back to what they were doing, and as always, they obey and the crowd dispersed itself. you look back to the front to where the cause of the nuisance started.
you eyed the girl intensively, looking up and down, observing every inch of her. you had to admit, she is quite the beauty. perfect wavy brown hair, almond shaped eyes, nicely drawn eyebrowa and plump pink lips. her body in the black tight fitting dress is amazing. it curved her body in all the right places.
you look up to see taeyong and the girl looking back at you with a raised brow. you faked a wide smile. “i dont think its wise to meet your boyfriend right at the gates of school.. especially when you’re this pretty. id fuck you.” you lick your lips teasingly and chuckle soon after.
“bitch the fuck?” mark whispers. you let out a loud, cunning laugh. “or perhaps...”
your eyes immediately connected with taeyong’s. you saw the fear yet a tint of interest in his eyes. you liked it. as you walk past the couple, you run your hand down taeyong’s chest. taeyong freezes as the girl’s mouth gape open, pulling taeyong away instantly with her arm around his waist. “id fuck your boyfriend.”
your head jerks toward taeyong as you whisper into his ear, but loudly enough for the girl to hear. with that, you wink at the both of them and walk off. mark smiles kindly before following behind you.
“that was... wow.” mark says to you, taking out his phone from his back pocket. you sigh, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.
“honestly who is dumb enough to meet their significant other just outside campus? they should be taught a lesson. and to think that taeyong guy is new.”
“his name is taeyong?”
you nod. mark nods back in reply as the two of you walk ahead to the small secluded cafe shop nearby where the two of you would usually hang out.
“i really hope i dont see him on friday. does he look like he’s the kind to skip lecture?” you ask, taking a sip of your tea while mark drinks his coffee.
mark shrugs, laying his back against the chair. “i dont think so? he has that ‘bad boy but obedient’ vibes.” you eyebrows furrow, but you slowly nod your head as you start to understand his view of taeyong.
“well i hope he wont let his girlfriend and him cause such commotion again. it took us so long to get out.” you whine, looking at the time on your phone. “we fucking got out like 30 minutes after! you know how much i hate getting off campus late.”
mark chuckles, running his hand through his hair. “we know, sweetie. we know.”
“dont call me that i swear-”
“suckass.”
“bitch.”
the two of you laugh happily and take a sip of your drinks at the same time before discussing about today’s lecture.
friday comes and you see the gifts placed neatly on your table yet again. you roll your eyes and slouch into your seat. you are now too tired to even throw away the gifts and you give up doing so.
more people soon start to fill the seats of the lecture hall. when the professor walks in, you notice that the seat beside you is empty. you purse your lips into a thin line and shrug your shoulders, thinking that taeyong isnt going to come today.
“taeyong. its only your second day yet you’re already late.” your head lifts up from your table to see taeyong standing by the door. you rest your chin on the palm on your hand as you were intrigued by him again like the first time you saw him on wednesday. why? you dont even know yourself.
taeyong rushes in and sits down next to you. what surprised you is the fact that the same girl is standing outside. the murmurs and whispers come again. you swear you can get a headache from it.
you see her blowing a kiss to taeyong, making everyone shout and fangirl over her before she leaves and the hall is back to being silent. you turn your head to taeyong, who immediately look back at you.
“is she that crazy over you?” you ask, taking out your pen and beginning writing notes. “yeah. but i fucking hate it.” taeyong replies. you chuckle lowly as your eyes remain on the projector yet you could see taeyong blinking his eyes, as if you had an effect on him.
“she seems rich. you’re after her money, arent you?”
“it’s because i cant get away from her parents.”
“hm its also for the money. i can tell.” you look down at his outfit, a lot of it are designer and authentic clothing items. you laugh softly with amusement.
“why are people scared of you?” your eyes immediately darkens and you slowly turn your head to face taeyong, staring down at him. taeyong sucks air into his cheeks and glances somewhere else. laughing quietly at his reaction, you smile softly.
“let’s just say i have a bad reputation. yet im popular for some reason. its seriously annoying.”
taeyong looks down at the gifts that you have thrown off your table. “i can tell. you seem bold and intimidating.”
you take out your phone to scroll through your social medias in boredom. “bold and intimidating huh? you’re an interesting one. i like it.” you glance at the clock when you hear people starting to pack up. you too start to pack up as well.
taeyong is still seated on his seat, writing down the notes he missed from talking to you. you figured that he couldn’t multitask like you. before you stand up to get out of the hall you turn to taeyong. again it looked like his senses were all heightened and he’s being wary of you.
you got closer to him, faces inches apart. he didn’t move at all. his eyes still on you. you smirk softly, licking your bottom lip as you eyed him narrowly like looking at a delicious candy.
“looks like you arent intimidated by me. i like you.” you whispers softly, laughing loudly as you see mark waiting for you at the door. you quickly got up and went to mark. as the two of you exited the hall, you look back to taeyong. he’s still glued to his seat, not moving, his mouth gaping open slightly.
“oi let’s go.” you hear mark shout as you notice him already walking away. you smirk widely and follow behind mark.
“im sorry what?”
“let me cheat on her with you.”
“no.”
you glare at taeyong as you take a bite from your meal. you and taeyong are having lunch on campus together and it never fails to have eyes glued onto you whenever you’re with taeyong. you’re only option is to hang out with tayeong since mark didnt come today. you have yet to ask him why.
“come on please! if she sees me with someone like you she’ll be too scared to get near me then i can finally break up with her.” taeyong whines, grabbing your cup of iced tea and taking a sip.
“protect your reputation, taeyong. look around. you being with me is already giving people a bad impression of you.” taeyong does what you say, looking around and realising that a lot of people were staring at you two. he turns back to find you picking on your food.
“you’re the only one i know around here. itll only be until me and her break.”
you eyes trailed up from your food to meet taeyong’s. you put your fork down and sat up straight, tilting your head slightly. “what’s in it for me?” people around you know very well that wouldnt do something without getting something back in return. it didnt take taeyong long to know that due to the constant whispers about you around campus.
“ill let you have the money she gives me?” taeyong says nervously. you click your tongue. you were definitely intrigued when taeyong says the word ‘money’. taeyong smiles sheepishly as he waits for your answer.
“ill do it.” taeyong’s face lits up in an instant. you however were smiling devilishly, looking down at your prey. “get ready though. im not an easy one.”
taeyong blinks his eyes rapidly. his eyes definitely says he’s intimidated. but his body says otherwise, looking calm and composed.
“i know. itll be fun.” your eyes widen slightly as you see taeyong smirking under his soft smile. you raise your eyebrows and chuckle in amusement.
“oh im sure it will, ty.”
“you sure that’ll work?” you roll your eyes and rub your temples. you lost count of how many times you have tried to explain the plan to taeyong.
“you said she comes here to have coffee before she picks you up right? she doesnt know we ended early today so we’ll probably run into her. then i’ll just flirt with you or something. just follow my lead.” taeyong nods slowly.
you shrug your shoulders and let your body sink into the comfortable seat. you and taeyong are at a pretty high class cafe and it felt good to drink some quality tea instead of the cheap ones you have to put up with living as a broke college student.
you drink your tea as you eyed taeyong. he looks anxious, constantly looking out the window and sucking his draw despite his cup already being empty. you groan to catch taeyong’s attention. “you need to chill. have you never flirt with anyone before?” taeyong shakes his head, biting his straw. you gape your mouth and clap your hands.
“no way! you’re good looking. you cant tell me that snobby girl is the only one you ever dated.”
“she is.”
you choked on your drink, proceeding you laugh hysterically. taeyong furrows his eyebrow. “you better find a better girlfriend once you break up with her ty.” taeyong frowns, running his hand through his silk soft-looking hair. “im not interested in dating.” taeyong mumbles. you only hum in response.
looking up from taeyong, you see the girl walking down the street, about to enter the cafe. you tapped taeyong’s hand quickly, making him flinch.
“okay she’s coming, act natural. like how we are now.”
“wait what i-”
you immediately peck his lips to shut him up. taeyong widens his eyes in shock, his body completely frozen at your touch. you smirked widely as you see the girl standing outside, with her eyes filled with anger and her hand clenching into fists tightly. you chuckle in an evil manner. “her she comes.” you whisper in a sing-song tone.
taeyong looks straight at the door as she finally steps into the cafe and stomps over to your table. you smile widely, putting in your innocent act.
“who’s she, tae?” taeyong doesn’t reply, looking at you. you raise both your eyebrows and roll your eyes. slowly, your fingers crawl up to taeyong’s hand on the table, touching his fingers as you jerked your head to her.
“a friend.” taeyong replies simply.
she scoffs. you ran your hand through your hair. “and why are you guys here?”
you click your tongue and chuckle lowly. you look at her, noticing that she’s eyeing you like a prey. clearly she’s jealous right now. with her arms crossed and eyes. you knew.
“we finished quite early actually. you dont mind me hanging out with him, do you? im sure you know he’s new and im his only friend.” you say softly, turning to taeyong and biting your lip seductively. a smirk slowly creeped up taeyong’s mouth. you’re surprised that he suddenly looks confident rather than the first time you two met when he was looking all intimidated and nervous around you.
“yeah, its true.” taeyong winks playfully at you. you only hum in response before looking up to the girl. she furrows her eyebrows in anger.
“hm you wanna hang out with him, right? alright ill leave.” you stand up and shove your phone into your back pocket. as you walk past behind taeyong, you bend down beside him and got close to his ear, acting as if you were whispering something as you stared at the girl. oh the look on her face. you laugh inside your head. you stand up straight and ran your fingers seductively behind taeyong’s shoulders before exiting the cafe. you could have sworn that you heard her growling under her breathe.
“you should have seen the look on her face!” you laugh crazily, slamming your hand against your thigh and taking another sip of mark’s drink. you were too lazy to buy your own.
“man why didn’t you tell me all this before?! i would have followed you guys and watch the shit go down.” mark whines. you grin widely and shake your head.
“im so sorryy.” you take in deep breathes to calm yourself down.
“taeyong must have been surprised when he sees you go into that mode. i remember the first time you helped me get my parents to not force me to be in relationships after they knew im “dating” someone like you.” mark chuckles.
“well he was shocked at first. but he surprisingly acted well.”
mark nods his head. you sigh as you look around the campus and you see taeyong walking with his headphones on. you smile softly.
“if you’ll excuse me, ill put on my ‘cheating’ role now and go to taeyong. text me alright!” you stand up from your seat and did you signature handshake with mark before speeding over to where taeyong was.
your hand loops around his arm as you pull him close. taeyonh flinches but relaxes when he notice it’s you. “so how did she react?” you ask, walking happily.
taeyong shrugs and takes off his earpiece, unplugging it from his phone and shoving it into his tote bag. “she was definitely jealous. she gave me a lecture on how i shouldnt be with you cuz you looked like a bitch.” you gasp sarcastically, placing your hand on your chest as you gaped your mouth widely. taeyong chuckles at your reaction.
“a bitch? what about her? tsk..” you roll your eyes.
“i can safely assure you that you’re way better than her.” you laugh in response.
“of course i am.” you wink at taeyong. “also what’s her name? you never told me.”
“soyoung. oh by the way.” taeyong stops in his tracks. you stop as well and let your arm off taeyong’s. taeyong digs into his tote bag. after awhile, he pulls out money. you smile almost immediately.
“she gave it to me. in a way to bribe me not to hang out with you.” you lean forward and snatch the money away and counted it. and boy was it a lot of money.
“she’d pay this much for you to stay away from me? she really is a bitch.” you slid the money into your wallet.
“too bad though. she’ll be seeing me with you more often.” you start to walk forward, but you stop and turn your head back. taeyong was standing still and staring at you. you see him snap out of hid thoughts and shake his head before walking towards you.
“sorry about that. let’s go.” you only shrug your shoulders as the two of you walk out of campus.
“you’re meeting her this sunday?” taeyong nods. you look around taeyong’s apartment. it wasnt big, big enough for two people but he’s the only one lving here. the decor is simple and he place doesn’t look messy. you figured it suited him well.
“we’ll be together before you’re suppose to meet her and have her see us together.”
taeyong widens his eyes and tilts his head. “that’ll be intense.” you raise an eyebrow and chuckle.
“isnt that what cheating is all about, ty?” you shake your head, acting disappointed. you hear him let out a ‘tsk’. you laugh.
“all right. looks like you’re taking me out sunday night. ill dress up.”
“dont you always dress up? your outfits upstages everyone when i see you on campus.”
you peck taeyong’s cheek playfully. taeyong jumps back at your sudden move. you smiled widely.
“you know i always look good.”
you suddenly feel taeyong pulling you and placing you on his lap. you tilt your head in confusion. “what’s this?”
taeyong’s breathing slows down as his eyes glaze your face intensively, as if admiring every inch of it.
“sounds weird but i find you very fucking hot.. its irresistible.” taeyong whispers, raising his hand to twirl a section of your hair around his fingers.
“oh and please book me a grab home. im heading out now so text me aites.” you stand up from the couch and wave to taeyong before leaving his apartment and closing the door.
as you were waiting for taeyong to pick you up on his motorbike, you look down at your outfit. you’re wearing a really short grey pleated skirt with a white lace bralette and a oversized checkered blazer as an outerwear. you don’t usually wear skirts often, but you did need to play the part of being revealing so as to “attract” taeyong’s attention. you put the quotations on attract but you dont even know if taeyong would be attracted or not. you slightly hoped that he would for some reason.
you see a motorbike coming to a halt. you walk towards it as taeyong gets off. he takes off his helmet, ruffling his hair as he went to the trunk. you blink your eyes rapidly as you’ve never seen taeyong look this good. you snap out of your thoughts when taeyong passed you your helmet. the both of you wear the helmets at the same time as you give way for taeyong to get on the bike. after adjusting a little, taeyong jerks his head to gesture you to get on.
“sit properly if you dont want guys staring at your exposed thighs.” taeyong says, his voice being muffled by the shield of helmet. you pull your down your skirt slightly and rest your hand on your thighs, waiting for him to take off, but he doesn’t.
“put your hands somewhere else. it’s dangerous.”
“ouh right right..” you look at your sides to find any handles to hold onto but there weren’t any. you stare down at his back. shurgging, you wrap your arms around his waist and interlock your fingers togther. taeyong turns his head to you and looks forward before starting the mottorbike and driving. you dont even know where you’re headed but oh well.
after a drive of about 20 minutes, you finally feel the motorbike stop. you look beside you and notice there was a restaurant. a very high class one. you gap your mouth open in disbelief as you get off the bike and take off your helmet.
“you have dates to these places often?” you turn around to face taeyong who sighs and gets close to you to take your helmet, nodding slowly.
you scoff, your eyes scanning the entrance of the place up and down. you feel taeyong’s hand snake around your waist. “let’s not go inside yet.” you raise an eyebrow.
“then where are we going?”
taeyong leads you to the entrance of the restaurant, where there are benches aligned. you nod your head once taeyong take a seat on the bench and sit doen beside him.
“the place is secluded so id normally see people making out around here.” taeyong comments, glancing at his phone to check the time.
“well there’s a bar a few blocks down so i guess that’s why.” you only nod in response, looking in front as you watch the cars drive by. it made you think of one thing. “wait what does her car look like-“
taeyong swiftly wraps his arm around your waist and pull you on his lap. you blink at him as he jerks his head to the back of you. you assume that she arrived. you arch your back and let your hair flow down on one shoulder before wrapping your hands around his neck and pulling him into a deep kiss. taeyong’s grip on your waist tightens as you ran you hand through his hair and tilt your head to deepen the kiss even more. you felt taeyong’s hand roaming from your waist to your thigh, going up and down slowly.
for some reason, you were enjoying it. his lips on yours. you felt his hunger, neediness for you as he held you close as if to claim you’re his. you felt the same nonetheless. you liked it a lot. the two of you knew very well that this isnt acting anymore. it was real. the heat and needy tension. you didnt feel such a thing in a long time.
you suddenly flinch when you felt a hand on your shoulder, pushing you off taeyong’s lap. you turn around. “oh look who’s here! its soyoung.”
“the fuck did i just saw you doing with taeyong?” soyoung pushes you back further.
“i was about to have dinner with taeyong here.. but id figure it would be better to get free appetisers instead of having to pay for one.” you say confidently, brushing your thumb over you bottom lip as your eyes stared into hers.
soyoung scoffs and folds her arms. she looks down at your outfit. “you’ve been trying to seduce taeyong from the very start.” soyoung mutters under her breathe. you tilt your head as you grin widely.
“of course that’s what i’ve been doing idiot. taeyong really enjoys being with me though.” you turn your head to taeyong who was smirking widely and eyeing your outfit hungrily.
soyoung rubs her temples. with no words coming out her mouth, she turn away and walks to her car, getting into the driver’s seat and driving off. you slowly turn your head to taeyong who’s mouth is wide open. you laugh hysterically.
“oh my fucking god that was awesome!” you shout, clapping as you sit back down beside taeyong. taeyong smiles widely. “you really do have it in you.” taeyong compliments. you nudge his arm. “if you say you underestimated me i will beat you up.”
“please do. ruin me. every single moment i spend with you makes me fall and want you more. i love the dangerous side of you,”
#nct#nct 2020#nct 127#nct taeyong#lee taeyong#lee taeyong x reader#nct taeyong x reader#nct x reader#taeyong imagines#taeyong scenarios#nct imagine#nct imagines#nct scenarios#taeyong angst#nct ff#taeyong ff#taeyong fanfic#taeyong fluff#taeyong#taeyong x reader#nct taeyong ff
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Hi KC Readers,
We have reached the end of the week which means we have new weekly releases for you! The stories below were updated during the week of April 24th - April 30th.
Happy Reading!
FFN
A View to Stop a Murder
Author: Marcia rogerts
Rating: K+
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Bonnie realizes killing Kol would be a huge mistake, Caroline has enough of Elena's selfishness and Klaus makes it in time to save his brother. 4x12 AU.
Date of update: April 24 2021
Collateral Damage
Author: stardancer10
Rating: M
Length: Drabble
Summary: Caroline Forbes had finally reached her breaking point. She was done being the expendable casualty in their plots and schemes and decides to do something for herself, something selfish. Warning: Not for fans of Elena or Damon.
Date of update: April 24 2021
Klaus POV - The Trouble with Spells (Chapter 22)
Author: ilovetf
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: I think the title is self explanatory. The Trouble with Spells as seen through Klaus's eyes and his POV. Over the years, people kept liking this story and some even asked for Klaus POV, so I decided to give it a try.
Date of update: April 25 2021
The Wolf II (Chapter 10)
Author: yokan87
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: The Guerreras' threat still looms over the Mikaelson house as Caroline tries to adapt to life as a vampire, away from her daughter. But an unexpected family reunion makes everything worse, taking away the little peace Klaus, Caroline and Elijah managed to find after the war that nearly broke them. [It's TO S2, but Caroline was a witch, had Klaus' baby and now she's a vampire]
Date of update: April 27 2021
Nothing Suspicious Here At All
Author: Writingnerd291
Rating: T
Length: Drabble
Summary: There's something just not right about the French Quarter, and Caroline as a rule avoids it. But Caroline has never been good about following her instincts, especially when said instincts might actually keep her out of trouble.
Date of update: April 28 2021
A Failed Sacrifice (Chapter 6)
Author: CookieDuo
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: She ruined the sacrifice to save her own life, and in order to survive she turned to the only other vampire who'd been able to survive the wrath of Klaus Mikaelson. She gets away, and learns from the master, but when Klaus eventually catches up to her, her life will never be the same again.
Date of update: April 29 2021
AO3
Our Time Now
Author: perfectpro
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Returning to campus for the start of her senior year, Caroline is determined to lead the cheerleading squad to victory, get into the law school of her choice, and to stop sleeping with Klaus. All the while ensuring that her sorority is left in good hands after she graduates, keeping her perfect 4.0, and enjoying her remaining time in undergrad. Senior year is going to be different. Caroline is going to make it different, okay? She isn’t going to sleep with Klaus.
Date of update: April 24 2021
Echoes of Sorrow (Chapter 6)
Author: BelleMorte180
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: It was meant to the the vacation of her dreams. Something new and the beginning of a fresh start for her, but when an unthinkable tragedy strikes, Caroline is left with the aching pit of grief that she finds impossible to let go of. However, sometimes the greatest love stories are born out of the greatest tragedies.
Date of update: April 24 2021
No Goodbyes (Chapter 10)
Author: deadofwrite (dead_of_write)
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: “Last night shouldn’t have happened,” Caroline whispered. Guilt. Shame. Regret. It was all the emotions he feared. And it was written all over her face. aka. a college/cheating au
Date of update: April 24 2021
You Should See Me In A Crown
Author: misssophiachase
Rating: T
Length: Drabble
Summary: Two famous strangers, both trying to avoid paparazzi for different reasons, find themselves in a bar one night during the Summer Olympics.
Date of update: April 25 2021
A Million Reasons to Stay (Chapter 18)
Author: Books4eva180
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Caroline Forbes is an ordinary 21 year old girl. She lives in NYC in a crappy apartment with her 3 best friends while trying to get her degree in journalism at Columbia with a virtually non existent love life. Well that is until she is diagnosed with Stage 2 Stomach Cancer. Caroline is devastated and till the cancer is for sure gone she swears off romance. Those plans go out the window when she falls for Klaus. Literally he runs into her and she falls onto the sidewalk. So she goes on a date with him. At first Caroline resolves to go on a few dates with him just wanting to spend time with someone who doesn't know she has cancer and treats her like she is going to drop dead any second. Though the more time she spends with him the harder it gets for Caroline to leave. How long will it be till Klaus figures out about her big secret and when he does will it tear them apart forever or bring them closer than ever?
Date of update: April 25 2021
I Don’t Want You To Die (Chapter 2)
Author: klarolinexluv
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: This is set after Season 5 Episode 12 (The Originals) when Klaus comes to Mystic Falls and takes the dark magic out of Hope, then he returns home to die. Caroline has a guilty conscience and she travels to New Orleans after him. Will she finally tell him what she wants? Will she stop him from dying? Read to find out!
Date of update: April 25 2021
Darkness Becomes Thee (Chapter 2)
Author: BelleMorte180
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Austria 1300s. When Klaus met a young girl on a riverbank, he knew that he would one day come back for her. When he looked into her bright blue eyes, he could see a reflection of his own soul, a darkness that lingered inside both of them. When the young girl turned into a beautiful woman with a thirst for blood, his fascination with her turns into obsession. He wants not only her loyalty but her eternity, a possessiveness that is equally returned. Or my "Caroline is the serial killer Elizabeth Bathory" au.
Date of update: April 25 2021
Speak Now
Author: klarrolines
Rating: T
Length: Drabble
Summary: Caroline scoffed loudly, fists clenched to her sides and her face contorting angrily. "What would you know of what I want?" "Love, if getting married to Stefan is truly what you want why are you here listening to me instead of telling me off? If this is truly what you want why do you look like you're going to be sick on your own bloody wedding?"
Date of update: April 25 2021
A Smutty Anniversary (Chapter 7)
Author: kcatdino
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Caroline and Klaus celebrate 3 months together with a day full of smut.
Date of update: April 25 2021
Our Rebirth (Chapter 7)
Author: MissMackasaurus
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Caroline is tired of being unappreciated, forgotten and mistreated. Klaus is frustrated with watching her be disappointed by her friends. When she decides to run from Mystic Falls he drops everything to keep her safe. friendship isnt forbidden when no one knows you are together. What will happen when Caroline takes Klaus up on his offer to show her the world?
Date of update: April 25 2021
Roulette
Author: malignance
Rating: G
Length: Drabble
Summary: Apparently with Mikaelsons, one meant all.
Date of update: April 25 2021
Kill Them With Kindness
Author: sekretny
Rating: T
Length: Drabble
Summary: “Caroline, pray tell… what is this little-,” Klaus directs his steps towards the sink where his girlfriend is doing the dishes, “project that you have undertaken.” Upon closer inspection of the state of the kitchen, he decides to tread carefully to avoid setting his feet on any of the small specks of some kind of treacly substance scattered all around the floor. “I was making cookies,” she answers with a voice full of fake cheer and a shrugs of her shoulders. He recognized her answer as being oddly evasive, while she continued to scrub a spatula. Klaus finds it adorable how she tried and failed at feigning innocence.
Date of update: April 26 2021
Destination Wedding (Chapter 4)
Author: PumpkinDoodles
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: The first rule of going to your ex's wedding is 'make sure you look good,' but Caroline's seriously worried that this British Guy is going to make her late. And she cannot be late to Rebekah Mikaelson and Matt Donovan's wedding at a Virginia winery.
Date of update: April 26 2021
Just Another Fairytale (Chapter 15)
Author: BelleMorte180
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a young prince who roamed the Forrest of Abattoir and a young maiden who lived by the Mystic Sea. The maiden felt the alone and useless while the prince longed for a connection to his mother. Just like any fairytale, the story of the prince and the maiden is one of true love, adventure and magic.
Date of update: April 26 2021
We are Young (Chapter 13)
Author: kcatdino
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Basically, Klaroline flirt in front of their kids who they are barely older than, and Landon is appropriately confused.
Date of update: April 26 2021
Magics Miracle (Chapter 6)
Author: 1Jemmagirl22
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Caroline is in Paris with out her humanity after the death of her mother. It seems her friends aren't happy with her new state so they inform the one person capable of turning her emotions back on. Klaus. When a prophecy about a second Tribrid comes about in New Orleans, shock to sweeps through the city. It seems nature doesn't consider Hope such an abomination after all as an even greater one is about to be created. The hands of power are changing and when they're done even the worlds most powerful witches won't be able to stop it.
Date of update: April 26 2021
Sibling Rivalry (Chapter 10)
Author: kcatdino
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: In which Klaus and Rebekah are both bi, their taste in men and women overlaps infuriatingly often, and they argue over their newest shared interest.
Date of update: April 27 2021
Kiss Me Quick (Spin Me Slow)
Author: malignance
Rating: T
Length: Drabble
Summary: It was infuriating, the effect they all had on her.
Date of update: April 27 2021
Secret Spells (Chapter 2)
Author: 1Jemmagirl22
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Alexandria Le Fay brings old magic back to the Salvatore school just as things start to calm down. But magic isn’t all she brings. Darkness follows her everywhere she goes. As does her family’s secrets. Takes place after Legacies 3x04.
Date of update: April 27 2021
LITTLE TENSE (Chapter 2)
Author: wincefish16
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: PROMPT- HUMAN MARRIED KLAROLINE. THINGS ARE NOT LOOKING GOOD IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP. DAMON IS CAROLINE'S BROTHER AND KLAUS'S BEST FRIEND. HE TRIES TO FIX THINGS BETWEEN THEM.
Date of update: April 28 2021
Soulmate visions (Chapter 5)
Author: kcatdino
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: On your soulmate's eighteenth birthday, you see through their eyes for an hour, but they don’t know. And if your soulmate turns eighteen before you are even born, you never get a vision. Klaus gets his soulmate vision right after he orders Tyler to bite Caroline on her birthday.
Date of update: April 28 2021
Caroline in Wonderland
Author: BelleMorte180
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: London, 1903. On the day of her wedding, a young boy collides into Caroline's legs, all but knocking her to the ground. Seeing that she is dreading walking down the aisle, any moment stalling her from heading to the church is welcome. However, when she follows the young boy down a London street, something impossible happens and Caroline finds herself in a magical world that she had been told about as a young child- Wonderland. She embarks on a journey through Wonderland to find out who she really is, where she belongs and towards a man who she had thought was nothing more than an imaginary friend.
Date of update: April 28 2021
The Big Bad Wolf (Chapter 7)
Author: MorningStarGirl666
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: He was the Big, Bad Wolf of this story, there was no doubt about that. But Caroline? She was the light to his darkness, the moon that shone brighter than even the stars in a sky of endless void. Like every wolf, he fell in love with the moon, and every month, he was destined to cry for a love he would never touch.
Date of update: April 28 2021
Resilience (Chapter 26)
Author: BMINA
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Set from 7x12 of TVD and somewhere between 3x13-3x14 of TO. When the gang of Mystic Falls try to get rid of Julian using a dangerous spell, they employ the help of Freya Mikaelson. But things go awfully wrong, resulting in a huge loss and lots of heartbreak. Julian vows to kill them all, making the group leave Mystic Falls and start running in different directions of the world. Five years later, Caroline and Alaric have a life in Chicago - free from the supernatural drama and all the grievances that come with it. But when Damon and Enzo show up to tell them that Bonnie has been taken, they pack their bags and head to the only place they can go to find help in getting her back; New Orleans. However, that brings about a new magnitude of problems instead, with a war looming ahead as old enemies of the Mikaelson's resurface and new dangerous weapons are discovered, threatening the sirelines once more. Forcing Caroline to make a decision between her new life and one where she must leave her human notions behind.
Date of update: April 28 2021
Battle Plans Gone Wrong
Author: Helpfulfairy92
Rating: Not rated
Length: Drabble
Summary: While Klaus knew he wasn't the smartest man on the planet, he liked to think that he had at least learnt to pay attention to his wife's many moods over the years. And this mood? This was one he had learnt to pay attention to. This was not a good mood. Or Caroline finds out about Klaus' plan and says No.
Date of update: April 29 2021
KC Drabbles 2021
Author: CandyCane1287
Rating: T
Length: Drabbles
Summary: C1: Hybrid Klaus meets human Caroline earlier and they fall in love. But there’s more. Ps, Katherine didn’t turn Caroline and she’s still human. He used Elena for the sacrifice but Elijah revived her. He got Tyler to bite Caroline but Klaus healed her. Tyler and Caroline broke up cause he cheated on her and they weren’t that in love.Matt and Caroline never happened. A bit of talk of Damon, but doesn’t go into too much detail.
Date of update: April 29 2021
The Long Ride Home (Chapter 4)
Author: BelleMorte180
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Seventy-three years is a long time to love someone; but sometimes, a lifetime is just not long enough when it is time to say goodbye.
Date of update: April 29 2021
Mikaelson Family Values
Author: perfectpro
Rating: G
Length: One Shot
Summary: Klaus and Caroline Mikaelson moved to Mystic Falls to put down roots for their family, but the town doesn't prove to be as perfect of a fit as they might have thought.
Date of update: April 29 2021
Louder Than Thunder (Chapter 16)
Author: khaleesiofthewolves
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: All Hell was about to break loose. After dying while protecting a grieving Klaus, Caroline finds herself sent back in time, and she's not who she once was. She's more. Back in Mystic Falls, something else is stirring. After the arrival of a mysterious figure from Klaus' past, it all comes to a head. It really is louder than thunder.
Date of update: April 30 2021
Reasons Not to Date a Mikaelson (Chapter 4)
Author: kcatdino
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Bonnie and Caroline gain a new roommate for their freshman dorm when a vision leads them to tracking down a pregnant Hayley in the Rockies. Also, Bonnie may or may not have raised a certain dead Original instead of Jeremy and Klaus takes a job at Whitmore teaching, to be annoying. He’s very good at it. This is a season 5 rewrite where the Originals never leave for New Orleans. But you know, with comedy.
Date of update: April 30 2021
Rewrite Of American Dream Prom Queen
Author: alyssa_chloe25
Rating: T
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: This is my version of american dream prom queen by trashcanbarbie. The beginning is the same as the original but with a twist in the end. More violence and hybrid klaus comes out to play.
Date of update: April 30 2021
AO3: Last Love (Chapter 2)
FFN: Last Love (Chapter 2)
Author: kirti_01
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Klaus had promised to be her last love, was sure that Caroline, will come to him. Maybe in a year, or a 100, perhaps. But Caroline decides not to wait for that long. After graduation, Caroline moves in with Klaus to give her feelings for him a chance. And Elijah finally lets go of his obsession with Katherine and finds himself attracted to a university student, his student, a human named Samara.
Date of update: April 24 2021
AO3: She Deserves Better (Chapter 43)
FFN: She Deserves Better (Chapter 43)
Author: CrazyGirl92
Rating: E
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Everyone Caroline has ever known is gone, her life has not gone the way she expected at all. What happens when she is attacked on the full moon? What happens if she finds herself back into her past. What will she do with this unexpected chance? How did it happen? Will she make the same choices? Were those even the right ones? Will Caroline wake up and realize just how much better she deserved. And just what will happen when she does?
Date of update: April 24 2021
AO3: The Domino Effect (Chapter 3)
FFN: The Domino Effect (Chapter 3)
Author: CrazyGirl92
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: Would the death of three of the five original vampires really not affect the entire world? What happens when the witches at peace decide something must be done about it. How is the story changed if Caroline meets Klaus Mikaelson earlier?
Date of update: April 24 2021
AO3: Corks and Claws (Chapter 21)
FFN: Corks and Claws (Chapter 21)
Author: UppityBitch
Rating: M
Length: Multi Chapter
Summary: As alpha pack leader of the Crescent Clan, Caroline has enough to deal with in keeping her wolves in line, but then a familiar sexy hybrid returns with his own set of problems and she can’t help but get involved...
Date of update: April 25 2021
AO3: Judgment Call (Chapter 9)
FFN: Judgment Call (Chapter 9)
Author: Eliliyah
Rating: G
Length: Drabble
Summary: As a Federal Agent, Caroline Forbes has always lived by a strict moral code. But when new evidence comes to light that Klaus Mikaelson, the first man she helped send to death row, may not be guilty hours before his execution, she begins to question everything she’s ever known. As the investigation leads to the heartbreaking truth, she’s forced to choose between what is right and what is just.
Date of update: April 27 2021
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Before You Go (All Might x Reader)
Part One/Part Two
A/N: okay, so this is gonna be pretty sad all around. Ultimately, Young!All Might x reader, but with Aizawa Shota undertones. Aizawa was giving me some mad professor snape vibes in this, and I sincerely apologize for that. I love him too but this isnt his story.
word count:4000
“Y/N, you seriously need to sign up with that energy quirk hero’s agency...shit what’s his name? It’s on the tip of my tongue,” Yamada remarked, tapping his chin as if that might help him remember. He sat at the lunch table with the rest of his friends, Shota and Oboro. Y/N was right beside him, but it seemed his words, despite being loud as usual, went through one ear and out the other.
“Don’t bother. She’s a lost cause.” Aizawa replied tiredly.
They all followed her gaze, only for their eyes to land on Toshinori Yagi. The blond walked by, carrying his food to his lunch table with his friends, people Y/N didn’t know, nor could she ever even hope to know. To be honest, Y/N was kinda sorta a loser. She was lucky that she even had friends considering she was awkward beyond belief.
“He’s too full of himself to notice you, Y/N. I’d just give up on that one,” the dark haired boy added, bumping his shoulder with the girl’s. She frowned, shaking her head to get back to reality. Aizawa was right. Not even once had the blond glanced at her or said hello. He was too cool for her. He was going to be one of the best heroes to ever exist and she was just average at best. None of her teachers ever saw potential in her, just saying that her strength was great, just that the side effects of her quirk were far too destructive.
She took a hefty scoop of rice and shoved it into her mouth, chewing grumpily.
“Come on, Y/N! It’s alright. You could just date me or Yamada!” Oboro laughed, clapping a hand on her shoulder from where he sat across from the girl.
“You don’t have to ruin my fantasies, Aizawa-kun. I know I don’t have a chance, but it’s nice to think about,” she snapped, sending a sideways glance at her friend who shrugged. He tried to tell himself it didn’t matter if Y/N obsessed over that muscle-head, but it bothered him. She was their friend: she should pay attention to them, no ogle over some narcissist. “He’s going to be the greatest hero this world has ever seen, I just know it. There’s something special about him, his quirk-”
“We get it. Toshinori this, Toshinori that. You know, if you like him so much, why don’t you go talk to him?” Yamada suggested. He wasn’t upset with her talking on and on about her crush, but he just knew Aizawa was about to burst with a couple more remarks. When she didn’t make an effort to move, he smiled knowingly. “You’re such a scaredy cat, Y/N. What’s he gonna do, bite you? If he’s a nice guy, it wouldn’t be a problem-”
“If it’s so easy, Yamada, why don’t you go find Nemuri and tell her how you feel?”
That shut him up very fast, as expected. Their cloud quirk friend broke through the tension swiftly, “Well, instead of talking about stupid crushes, why don’t we talk about our plans for this weekend? Karaoke and Barbeque, dudes! It’s gonna be awesome.”
“Oh my God, I totally forgot about that!” Y/N exclaimed, shoving more rice in her mouth so it bulged in her cheek like a squirrel. She probably should take smaller bites, but it was more fun to see how many grains she could fit in her mouth at one time. “Hizashi, I swear if you eat all the spicy pork again...”
“That only happened once-”
“Twice, actually!” she corrected, poking him on the forehead with the end of her chopstick. They laughed and all was well again, if not for her lowering self-esteem. If only Aizawa believed in her. He was her best friend, the only one who’d been there since the beginning. If he pushed her to talk to Toshinori maybe she would have the courage to actually do it.
But that wasn’t important. She had friends who actually enjoyed her company, and that’s what mattered.
The weekend was two days away, and a lot could happen in those 48 hours, she found.
_____________________________________
“Fucking useless. So weak,” Y/N cursed, staring down at her burning hands. Blisters had yet to form, but she could feel the pain of her training. She could accumulate heat from her surroundings and expel that from any part of her body. Yet, it seemed that there were more downsides than perks with this quirk she inherited from her parents. Firstly, she could not consciously choose to concentrate the heat in any one area. Usually, it did come from her hands, but often she would find other parts of her body scalding to the touch when she was using her power. Secondly, using her power at high heat would leave her with terrible burns.
Thankfully, her mother gave her bits of a regeneration quirk, meaning the burns only lasted for a couple days, most of the time less than that. Hopefully, with time, she could control the quirk so the damage wouldn’t be so bad.
She hated her quirk. It sucked. She couldn’t do anything much with it or else she would hurt herself and have to stop. Once she was burned so badly that the hospital almost had to amputate one of her limbs just from that.
Sadly, she fell to her knees on the sandy training grounds, just staring down at her hands hopelessly. How could she ever become a pro hero like this? She’d never be able to compete with the other UA students, especially people like Toshinori or Todoroki or even Aizawa.
“Shit,” she shouted angrily, shutting her eyes and slamming her hands against the sand. Her hands lit up a bright red for a quick moment as heat ran through them into the ground. Sand blew up all around her face and rocks were sent flying in all directions. As the dust cleared, she could see a small crater in the ground where she channeled her energy, it wasn’t huge, maybe enough for a person to lay in, but not much bigger.
Her hands stung terribly, and blisters started to bubble up on her skin. She was so full of adrenaline and hate for herself that the pain hadn’t entered her mind. She was just so fucking angry. She would never be good enough. Why even go to UA if she was just gonna get a job outside of the quirk realm? If anything, she’d probably get left behind to be a civilian while everyone she knew got rich and famous from quirk work.
“Hey, are you okay?” a familiar voice asked from somewhere behind her. She turned her head, tears stuck in the corners of her eyes as she drifted out of her reality into the real world. If it didn’t sting so badly, maybe she would have been more excited to see Toshinori Yagi walking in her direction. She hissed, turning back around and shaking her hands to get some cool air on them.
He jogged to her side, kneeling beside her. His eyes widened at the sight of her hands, but also at the hole she left in the ground. “That looks really, really bad. We should get you to Recovery Girl-”
“It doesn’t matter.”
He looked up to her face, his brows raised in surprise. Why would she deny going to the infirmary for an injury like this? She had to be insane, he thought. “What? Why?”
“It’ll heal soon.”
“Do you have a regeneration quirk?” he asked, but as he did so, he gently took her hands in his, which were in comparison, freezing cold. He felt like he was touching fire, but he knew his body was strong enough to handle a little heat. Her skin was already blood red, but him touching her so delicately left her feeling faint. The school’s star pupil was holding her hands. She couldn’t believe it. Even through the pain, she felt bashful.
She nodded. “Yeah, but it will take a day or two.”
“Well then, we’re going now.” He didn’t even wait for her to say anything in reply before picking her up in his arms, one behind her shoulders and the other under her knees. In shock, she could only lay there limp, her burnt hands face up in her lap. “How’d you do that anyway? You have a heat quirk, right?”
“Yeah. I just put too much energy into my hands. I have to use my quirk in moderation,” she explained. “Also, I can walk. It’s fine, you don’t need to-”
“No! You need to save as much of your strength so you can heal your wounds. Recovery Girl can’t heal you completely, I’m sure.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
He walked inside the school building and started talking again. She didn’t know for sure why he was giving her so much of his time and effort. She could have taken herself to the nurse or easily gone home. It was after class. He might have been coming out to train himself, actually. Either way, he was being extremely kind.
“I’m Toshinori Yagi. I’ve seen you around school before, you always hang with the boy with that erasing quirk.”
“Yep. He’s one of my best friends.”
“If I remember right, you’re L/N Y/N? Heat manipulation quirk? You were 4th in this year’s sport’s festival,” he smiled down at her, and she felt herself light on fire once again. How did he remember her? She was such a background character, and even if she did mildly well, her quirk and face weren’t much to remember. “You were super impressive out there, I was surprised. You seem so shy, but really you’re a powerhouse.”
“Not really. I have to hurt myself to do anything good.”
“If you could learn to control your quirk, imagine what you could do with your power?! You made that giant hole in the ground out there in a matter of seconds.” That made her feel good. People normally brought her down, telling her that she would just have to deal with it, that it was a condition of her power. For some reason, this boy believed in her. It made a bit of a smile come to her lips.
His grin felt contagious, and it only grew brighter seeing her lips curl up.
“I guess so.”
“You should let me help you out. I know a lot about control from my own quirk. We’d be a good pair, I think.”
That was when her heart officially stopped beating. He wanted to spend even more time together? He wanted to take time out his day to help her improve? She began to rethink what her friends said about the boy. He didn’t seem full of himself at all. He was generous and kind from the looks of it.
And to think she had a crush on him before. Now she felt her heart swelling up in her chest so much it might explode.
“Really?”
“Yeah, of course.”
That’s how Y/N met the famous All Might, and the moment she started her downward spiral in love with him.
_________________________________
Y/N sat at the lunch table once again with her normal squad of friends, Aizawa to her right as usual. She had one of her books sitting out on the table, a textbook Toshinori gave to her. He said that his own mentor had given that to him to help learn control and moderation of his quirk. She studied it religiously, and surprisingly, it was beginning to work. She had less and less incidents where she had to go to the infirmary or have to extensively heal herself. The training still hurt like hell, but it was less serious.
“Y/N, you’ve been studying a lot lately. Something up?”
“Just trying to get over my weaknesses. Figured I wasn’t working hard enough.”
Just as Aizawa was about to say something else, a loud, excitable voice yelled from a few meters away. “Y/N!”
It was The Toshinori Yagi, the best student at UA. To think two weeks ago, they were telling her he would never know her name. Turns out he already knew, and apparently they were friendly with each other. Oboro’s eyes widened and he elbowed Hizashi beside him, who was jamming on his headphones. Aizawa’s eyes only narrowed.
Her eyes lit up at the sight of the blond boy. He walked over to her seat and leaned his hip on the table, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “You’re really studying that book I gave you, huh? Even at lunch?”
“Of course! I have to do all I can before training.”
“You’ll be fine. You’ve been improving like crazy these past few weeks.”
These past few weeks? Just how long had they been talking?
He smiled kindly at her, and she blushed, hiding her face toward the table. It was weird for the boys to see their little Y/N talking with a boy other than them. And while two of them were ecstatic she seemed to have bagged the hottest boy in the school, one was particularly stormy about it.
“Well, I just stopped by to tell you, you look really beautiful today! You’ve been practically glowing with confidence lately; it’s a really good look on you.”
“O-Oh, thanks, Toshi-kun.”
“I just call it like I see it, Y/N,” he winked, and that sent her heart into overdrive. “Well, I’ve got to go eat, but I’ll meet you outside class later?”
“Yep.”
He left for his table with his super cool friends, leaving her sitting there a flustered, awkward mess. She shoved some rice into her mouth and chewed, trying to hide her embarrassment.
“Sooo, you gonna explain what that was?!” Yamada cried out, clutching at his chest. “Your vibes were too intense, I almost couldn’t handle it.”
She waved the boy off with her hand, trying to downplay it all. ‘It’s really nothing. He’s just helping me train. He has a really good handle on damage control, since we both have stockpile type quirks. I’ve actually gotten somewhat better since then.”
“Seemed like more than that, L/N-chan,”
“I’m telling you, he's just a really, really friendly guy. That compliment was just a friendly one.”
Aizawa sighed, leaning back in his chair. “You’re so dumb, Y/N. He seems like he’s playing with you.” He said it so matter-of-factly, and she glared at him.
“I’ll have you know he’s been helping me a lot with my training but also my healing. He’s very kind and always helps me with anything. He’s never once shown signs he’s not genuine.”
“That’s what a narcissist does to get you comfortable with them, stupid.”
“Can’t you just believe that my crush actually wants to be friends with me and help me? That he’s not just some malicious monster?” When he rolled his eyes, she stood up abruptly, grabbing her book and shoving it into her bag. He sat up quickly and went to grab her wrist, but she moved out of the way swiftly.
“Aw, come on, L/N. Dudette-” Yamada whined, but he knew that Aizawa’s jealousy was getting to the tipping point for the girl. Years went by of him just pushing her away from other guys who liked her and were genuinely kind. Whatever Toshinori was doing with her seemed to give her enough strength to reject the boy’s malice words.
A little bit of him was even proud, the loudmouth admitted to himself.
She kept her head held high, eyes glaring down at the long-haired scruffy boy. He’d never seen her like this: standing up for herself. If she were angry at anyone else, he would be cheering her on, but now he just felt furious. How could she be angry with him? He’d been there since they were children and she just leaves because of some blond himbo.
Her words cut clear in the bustling lunchroom. “I don’t need any negativity right now, Aizawa. If all you want to do is bring me down, then so be it.” After slinging her bag over her shoulder and grabbing her tray, she waved and walked away. As they watched her, she approached the table of her new friend, who greeted her happily. She sat next to Toshinori with a smile on her face, one that Aizawa hadn’t seen directed at him in weeks.
Maybe he was wrong to be bitter, but he just couldn’t believe there wasn’t some conspiracy to all this. How is it that the coolest guy in school goes for Y/N? He thought she was amazing, he had for years, but no one else ever thought that.
Whatever, it didn’t matter anyway. She could do whatever she wanted, and if she got her feelings hurt, so be it.
_________________________________
The pair sat outside the school as always. She munched on an icecream bar from the cafeteria while he leaned back, arm across her shoulders and his eyes drawn to the sky, fading from dimmed orange into deep violet. He had guilt hanging over his head the past few weeks, and it was finally time for him to explain himself.
“I can’t believe we’re done. School went by too quick.”
“I think it goes by faster when you’re fighting evil a couple days a week.”
She nodded, humming in agreement. Her senior year was full of battles, emotional and physical. She was broken to bits when her friend Oboro died or when Toshinori was left to mourn his mentor and they only had each other. Being a hero comes with a cost, but no one expects to be 17 and watch the people they love die all around them. It’s worse when you’re strong enough that you know you could have saved them but you just didn’t. “It was worse than I imagined. I know we’re going to do this for our whole lives, but I don’t want it to hurt as much.”
“That’s why you have to always be better than the villains, Y/N. I know I’m going to be.”
She tucked the clean popsicle stick into her bookbag when she was done with it, not wanting to throw it on the ground. Her hand found its way to his, curling her smaller fingers gently around his. Her smile was all too bright, a trait of his that seemed to grow on her the longer they spent together. “We’ll do it together, right? You and me on top of the charts, just like we dreamed of?”.
He relished in the warmth of her hand pressed to his, even if it was just a friendly. He was going to miss moments like this, dreams of the two of them...All that planning for nothing. He sighed, his eyes going from the sky to the dirt beneath their feet. “Y/N, I have something to tell you.”
With a furrowed brow, she asked, “What’s up?” It couldn’t be bad...
“Tomorrow I’m leaving for America. I don’t know how long.”
“What do you mean you’re leaving for America tomorrow?” Y/N asked her best friend, eyes wide with fear. He knew he should have told her earlier, but he couldn’t explain why he was leaving, and he knew the more time she knew the greater chance he would reveal the reason. She couldn’t know about All For One. It would only put her in danger.
He sighed, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder. “I have to go to America. I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you before-”
“I can’t believe this. You waited until the day before to tell me I’ll basically never see you again. You expect me to be satisfied with a two minute goodbye today and just forget about you- about everything?” she asked, a stone sinking to the pit of her stomach. She felt like she was going to cry or get sick. How could he do this to her?
“I know. I know. I should have told you sooner but I couldn’t.”
“Why?”
“Y/N, I’m sorry, I just can’t tell you.”
That answer wasn’t good enough. It was wrong to pry, but the betrayal was too much for her to handle rationally.
She turned her head away from him, staring bitterly at the wall beside her. She refused to meet his eyes. “I thought I could trust you.You’re one of my closest friends, Toshi, but now I know you don’t care. If you cared you would have at least given me a heads up, maybe spent more time with me before you just decide to abandon me,” she sneered, the anger building up in her chest. “You’re too good for someone like me. Shota-kun was right this whole time. Everytime he told me you were just playing with me, that you didn’t actually care about me; he was right, wasn’t he?”
All Might shook his head, trying to reach out to grab her, bring her back to his side. He didn’t want her to turn against him now. He didn’t want to say goodbye with her hating him, her last memory of him being so terrible. Still, she jumped away from her seat, stumbling over her feet to get away from him. “Don’t touch me.”
“Y/N, please. I just want this goodbye to be happy.”
“Goodbyes are never fucking happy, Yagi. You’re so stupid.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“How could you not?” Y/N bit back her sadness, letting anger take over. “Just forget it. It’s not worth fighting over. You’re leaving, so goodbye. Maybe we’ll see each other again, maybe not. But just know, I would have done anything to stay by your side if you really cared about me.” With those words lingering in the air, she turned on her heel and started to walk away.
“Y/N, please don’t go yet,” he paused, trying to gather himself. She was walking away, her back turned and her head hung. “I love you.”
But she didn’t turn around. What was the point now? She’d lost him already, no use in saying anything back or confessing her love as well. He would still be leaving tomorrow, and they would probably never see each other again. It would break her heart to run back there and hug him, confess her long time feelings to the boy. They were never an item. Maybe if he stayed, they could have been something more.
If he really loved her, he wouldn’t leave her behind. If he really loved her, he would have shut his mouth before those three little words, and saved her the broken heart.
Part Two is up!
#all might x reader#all might#toshinori yagi x you#toshinori yagi x reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader#boku no hero academia#x reader#fanfic#one shot#toshinori one shot#all might one shot#imagine#all might imagine#boku no hero imagine#my hero academia imagine#mha#bnha#bnha oneshot
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Since you are Large and anti-bra does that mean you have other solutions for supporting the pain slinkies or are yours not pain slinkies? Every bra I’ve tried gets me sore in some way but going without is usually even worse, so I’m always looking for new ideas.
Full disclosure my size fluctuates a lot bc reasons, i am not especially busty rn
I think my question is what kind of bras have you tried??? and what are your surviving problems depending on cut?? like, have you tried anything with a full back or a long line where its not pulling down on your shoulders and/or concentrating pressure on your underbust? For me I am so sensitive in like an autisms way that having underbust pressure, or any pressure concentrated in a small area at all, makes me go insane worse than going braless ever has made me sore so i err on the side of nothing.
For a lot of people bras are going to suck even if they fit and getting one that fits is only going to suck slightly less than one that doesn't -— but if youve only tried a few cuts id encourage you to look at stuff that has much more coverage in the back. I have to be wire free or i lose my mind
Also, and I realize this is an annoying question, how is your upper body strength and posture??? If you have been busty for a long time you may have gotten used to carrying yourself in a way that temporarily relieves pain in targeted areas but makes it worse overall — if strengthening your abdominal, back and shoulder muscles isnt something you already do, starting that up may actually get you to see improvement, but that's a slower process that is not going to give instant relief lol . But that's kind of what I rely on frankly.
You need something that distributes pressure evenly across the parts of your body that are strong enough to face long term pressure or exertion, that isn't designed solely to push up from the bottom and be held up by a narrow strip along your shoulders
Compression camisoles tend to appeal to me bc they distribute everything over the torso front and back but those lack structure so depending on your Shape they could be useless
I don't think it's realistic for everyone to just not wear upper body undergarments, they have both practical and aesthetic uses, but there need to be way more options that are designed for actual body type variances and people need to understand that negative effects on your body can happen, typically for modern women that means compensating posture to make a bra work (often in a relatively inactive environment) rather than developing the muscles that you'd need to stay upright without pain if everybody was going around without clothes all the time
like i think a lot of people do not realize how many different muscles they might be talking about when they talk about bust related pain, and no two people are alike so what works for one person in terms of an assistive garment may be useless to the other, but for the most part targeting posture and strength training in that area will make some kind of difference for most people. you just have to know what your area is and deal with the unfortunate fact that it's not gonna be overnight
i just woke up i hope any of this is comprehensible
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Cold- A Saeran Fanfic
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Game: Mystic Messenger
Story: Another story
Route: Ray route 8th day
Character: Suit Saeran
~~~Please read these warnings
-NSFW
TW; Slight exhibitionism, slight dumbification, choking.
(They're all consensual.)
These topics can make you uncomfortable so please dont read if you know this isnt your cup of tea.
~~~End of warnings :)
BTW SAERAN DOESN'T WEAR SOCKS WITH HIS SHOES AND I??? LIKE WHY DUDE.
Thanks alot to @sensetenou for this idea!
*contains spoilers for Ray route :)*
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My bed, it remained the same but now became too uncomfortable to sleep in. The sheets falling off, blanket tossed to the side, the pillows being the only item that's neat. The light from the window that usually was the start of another fun day soon became unwanted as the days became painful to endure. The clouds passed by slowly, in harmony with the wind. The birds chirped and the garden was visible from my window. It looks, peaceful.
The long walk down the hallway that soon revealed a gorgeous garden. The cold air that made me shiver a bit. Ray noticed that and offered to give me his jacket. He smiled brightly as he fitted it onto me and he toured me of the garden.
I stood out in the garden, looking at the flowers that reminded me of Ray. I haven't seen him all day and didn't seem well in the chat rooms either.
"Who's there?" I hear from behind me and turn around to see Ray.
His sobbing broke my heart as he spouted insults at himself. I wanted to tell him that he isn't worthless and that he is such a kind and caring person. I wanted to hug him and take all of his self hate away.
"Ray! Stop please!" I spoke up, my voice cracking halfway.
"I don't hate you! I really really like you! So can you please look at me?"
His eyes met mines and I pulled him in for a kiss.
My room was now off limits to all believers. The room that was prepared by Ray now had a suffocating atmosphere to it. I gazed outside the window, trying to relive my memories with Ray. I wonder if I escaped to the outside, I would be peaceful once more. The thought quickly disappeared myself as I reminded myself of Saeran.
"Saeran..." I mumbled to myself.
I turned my attention to my room and gazed upon the sight. The flowers that Ray gifted to me has now wilted, the stems barely holding the flower up. Those flowers were all I had left of Ray as I tried to hold his memory on for long as possible. I opened the chat room to see that V announced that the party was going to be on hold. I took a deep breath as I had an idea of what was going to happen to me. I was scared but I can't give up just yet.
The thought of Saeran crosses my mind again. Just, how much did he suffer to turn into this? I want to run away from this place but I want to stay, for Saeran and Ray's sake. The warmhearted man that would care for me was now someone who used anger as a shield for them. It was something hard for me to get used to. I did not want to accept any of this. I don't want to believe that he had been hurt so much to make him like this. Maybe if we escaped together he would finally find peace in his heart. I held onto the hope that we would soon escape this place as it was all I had.
"I need a break." I sighed looking at the clouds.
I weakly stood up and made my way into the bathroom. I turned on the sink to splash some water onto my face. I dried my face in the mirror and looked at how frail I had become. My color had faded from my face, my eyes being the only color visible. However, my eyes could barely keep themselves open, yearning for me to rest.
"Princess..." A voice I know all too well called out for me.
The room changing to a suffocating atmosphere and I took deep breaths, anticipating what's going to happen next.
Slam!
The door was forced open and in its entrance stood Saeran. His eyebrows furrowed, mint eyes staring through me. His stance was tall even though he was only a few inches taller. His tie was slightly loosened and his clothes weren't ironed, making all the creasing visible. Just the sight of him made me feel timid.
"Tch! The RFA's attack is so lame with V canceling the party." He scoffed, looking at me in annoyance.
"V said that the party will be on hold-"
"Hahaha! V is just tricking you to keep you hoping. Do you honestly believe that man? What an airhead." He taunted, making me look down at the floor.
"Ugh you and V piss me off so much. Seriously, how can you be such a useless toy."
My eyes stayed fixed onto the bathroom tiles, my back leaned against the sink countertop and my hair falling forwards. His words would always tug at my heart but I always reminded myself to not let it get the better of me. Even if he is to call me names or to hurt me, he would eventually get hurt in the end. Either way, it's not healthy for the both of us. However, I cannot let myself be swayed by his actions and words as I hope to escape this place safely with him. I took deep breaths in this suffocating atmosphere, the tension rising more between us.
"Hey, princess. Are you ignoring me? Do you think you have a right to ignore me?" He snapped, my eyes directing their attention to his body.
"Such a boring toy, do something to entertain me!" He shouted almost hitting his hand on the wall.
"This is annoying. Such a useless toy! This is annoying. This is annoying. This is annoying!" He screamed.
His voice cracked as he desperately tried to insult me.
"Do you know why they cancelled the party? Because you screwed everything up not me! This is all your fault!" He scolded along with a loud thump against the wall only to see that he slammed his fist against the wall.
"Saeran that's enough! You'll just hurt yourself!"
"Shut up! Who do you think you are to tell me that!"
With that sentence he grabbed me by my waist and pinned me down onto the cold bathroom floor. My head pulsed from the impact, my eyes squinting from the pain. I tried to gain my focus back and looked at the figure above me. His hands were over my shoulders and legs beside mines, my legs falling onto the floor. His eyes seemed to be brighter through his hair, a smirk plastered on face. I moved my legs, pushing my body away from his but he pinned my arms down, pulling me back to him.
"You're the worst. You piss me off so much and you're so boring, should I just get rid of you here?" He cursed at me.
"Saeran please..." I pleaded, not sure what else to say.
My head still ached but I barely paid attention to his insults. He noticed that and gripped onto my arms tighter. I flinched and looked at him. He shouted at me to answer him but my words came out incoherent. He started holding me tighter, his nails hurting me a bit.
"Saeran stop." I winced at the pain.
It wasn't expected but he released his grip from me. His hands still held mines firmly but he wasn't hurting me anymore. His eyes were wide, seemingly shocked but he quickly removed any signs of worry.
"Ugh such a boring toy can't you do anything interesting?" He taunted.
He seemed somewhat timid a few seconds ago and now he's spouting insults at me again. Whenever he showed any form caring, his actions will always revert to his anger. His anger was a shield for him, he gets angry because he's scared that his hope will turn into despair. The small details meant a lot, which made me more aware of his feelings. I just wish I can somehow save him from this pain. He grabbed my head, pulling me out of my thoughts as he realized that I was spacing out.
"Tch! don't ignore me! Are you trying to provoke me?" His voice ringed in my ears but I managed to keep my eyes away from his
"Oh? You are ignoring me." He remarked as he realized my actions.
"Haha well? Make me mad! Mess with me Come on, try it hmm? I'll play with you." He yelled, his words echoing throughout the bathroom.
His face was inches away from mines. The feeling of his breath ghosting my skin, which raised goosebumps everywhere. I placed my hands on his shoulders, anxious of what's to come. He unexpectedly pressed his lips against my neck in places he had previously marked me. He bit down on my skin but not enough to hurt me. My eyes widened and my jaw opened at his actions not knowing how to react at first. If we were mutual about our feelings for each other this would be a pleasurable feeling but in the end he was just taunting me. I took deep breaths in, the feeling being somehow wanted and unwanted at the same time. My hands were still on his shoulders but my push against him became weaker. My eyes shut as I tried to redirect my thoughts.
His lips were placed on my neck. He was now gently nipping at my skin. He's above me but his hands that held onto me loosened. His grip onto me weakened. I questioned him and even, myself. My feelings were conflicted with my thoughts in a battle of 'yes' and 'no'.
"Tch!"
He suddenly pulled away, and I opened my eyes to realize that my hands has unknowingly creeped into his hair. He was now towering over my body that was still laid out on the floor. I tried to gather my thoughts, confused by my own actions. Saeran looked down at me frowning but, it was not at my gesture but at something else.
"Didn't I tell you this already? This smell of yours been getting on my nerves." He insulted, mentioning the unknown smell once again.
"Don't tell me you don't even know how to wash properly." He scorned.
"But I don't know-" I replied standing up but quickly getting cut off.
"Do you want to know, hmm?"
I looked at him and thought about my answer.
"Hah! Did you think you actually had a choice even if you answered?"
He smirked at me, his devilish smile showing his intentions. He kicked off his shoes and walked towards me. My thoughts were immediately cut off when he grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the shower, my sandals falling off in the process. He turned on the cold water and pushed me into it. The feeling of cold water made me flinch and I quickly moved out of the water. Saeran however did not like my actions and dragged me back into the freezing water, soaking me in my clothes. I brought my hands as close as they can be, trying to create some sort of warmth as I trembled underneath the water. I pulled and twisted my wrist to be freed from Saeran's grip but the cold water made me weaker, keeping his grip firm onto me.
"Haha! Hahaha! I'll tell you. I'll tell you how much you need to wash before you see me." He laughed hysterically at my struggles, running his hand through his hair and looking at the ceiling.
His smile wide, forming creepily on his face and his messy hair that covered his wide eyes. He was pretty dry, only a few drop of water stained on his suit.
"Stop please!" I yelped, his eyes focusing their attention on me.
"Ugh, should I just mask your mouth or something. I'll listen to you after you're tamed." He looked at me with disgust, his glare making me timid and forcing me into obedience.
My back suddenly hit the wall, arching at the impact. He had his hand around my neck but they fell to my hips to keep me in place. The pain I felt quickly disappeared as he made no haste in attaching his lips to my neck again. My hands reached to his shoulders to push him away giving me no time to process the situation. I wriggled in his grasp, my legs brushing against his now, wet clothes. He bit my neck, any words that I tried to say turning into small yelps. He was rough, his teeth biting at my skin, sucking and licking at places. He got what he wanted as I couldn't say anything but incoherent whines. Even if I wanted to say anything, I don't know what I could say. Seeing Saeran react like this was very new and shocking to me. It may be to taunt me but he would never take advantage of me, so why would he go this far? His left hand trailed down my body and rested at the edge of my dress. My legs closed at the feeling but his hands gripped my thighs and forced them open.
"Please please please." I repeated in my thoughts, my eyes closing again.
I did not want to think about what's happening but my mind redirected itself.
I did not want to think about the way he kissed my neck so rough but so gentle. The feeling of his teeth gently nipping at me. I did not want to think about his hand loosening their grip on my hips and moving to the back of my waist and pulling me closer. His hands also gripping my thighs but loosening to circle his thumbs against my skin.
"Why?"
"Why am I thinking this way?"
"Why am I paying attention to the small details?"
"Why is he being gentle?"
"What does any of this mean if it means anything?"
"Why do I feel myself getting hotter despite the cold water that previously splashed on me?"
"I'm not supposed to feel this way."
"But... why does my body disagree?"
My yelps slowly became into soft sighs and whines. My body that was tensed slowly became melted under his touch. I did not want to give in but my body disobeyed. My breathing fastened as I became needy for him. I wanted to push him away. I wanted to struggle away but I also yearned for him. Even if I did try to push him away my grip would always intentionally weaken. It felt wrong but it also felt so right. I felt conflicted, being between pushing him away or giving into the temptation. His actions became gentle and he tried not to hurt me. Even though he's mean towards me, I couldn't bring myself to despise him. The small details meant so much more to me. He is rough at first but his actions became gentle and caring. I did not understand why and I don't think he realized it either. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, my body and thoughts would always direct me to one answer. Slowly, my hands that were pushing him away, started gently pulling him closer. I moved my hands to entangle into his hair but he pulled away at my gestures.
"Who do you think you are to do that? Are you enjoying yourself too much?"
When he pulled away I did not bother to think about my actions as I had already decided on what I wanted. I paid no attention to his words and instead I studied his figure. Even though its wet, his suit seemed to fit him more attractively. His tie was loosened around his neck. His lips red and mouth slightly ajar from kissing me. His cheeks were tinted red and his eyes lost any traces of anger in them. He looked as if he was slowly losing his persona. If only I could pretend that nothing happened in the past few days and rush to him right now. The sight of him warmed my heart, hoping for him to hopefully find himself again. I could feel his gaze on me as if he was studying me as well. He lifted my chin up and I tried to avoid eye contact with him. I was sure that my cheeks were blushing and I was still breathing heavily. He understood my actions and softly chuckled.
"Oh? Haha Haha," He chuckled softly, "You are enjoying yourself aren't you princess? My my, such a naughty girl."
"Maybe you'll actually be good girl for me hmm?" He hummed in delight.
He leaned into me again and his hands ran up the sides of my body and stopped at the neckline of my dress. His hands played gently with the lace and my heart fastened at his movements. His gentle moments stopped and I was jerked forward towards his body. A loud tear echoed throughout the bathroom as peices of fabric fell off my shoulders. He had ripped the lace part of my dress, enough for it to fall off my shoulders. I gasped at my clothes that was now useless. He forced the dress off me and tossed it outside the shower. I was left in my underwear that was soon to be removed. He stayed put and made no haste in tossing my bra away as well. A blush became highly visible on my face and my hands crossed over my chest in embarrassment. He forced my hands to my side, my body on full view again. His movements were quick which gave me no time to react. He was rough but this time, I welcomed his actions towards me.
He pulled my underwear down along with his body and he looked up at me. My face reddened more and he chuckled at my reactions. We exchanged no words, our actions being enough to tell eachother what we wanted. He bit the inside of my legs and trailed his tongue up to my thighs. I gasped at the feeling and my hands moved aimlessly, not knowing what to do. He kept eye contact as the water flickered back and forth onto his face. His glare was intense and his eyes were now filled with lust. I tried talking but my words came out as soft gasps and sighs. He stopped at my thighs, leaving hickies there. He barely touched me and I was already going crazy. My hands moved from my sides and into his hair, tugging it slightly. He trailed his tongue further up my thighs, his breath ghosting where I needed to be touched the most. I held his head and pulled him closer, but again, he pulled away. I pouted, upset that he stopped his actions. He did not say anything and pushed me against the wall again. He stepped back and looked at me up and down clearly enjoying the position he had me in. He bit his lip and I crossed my hands over my chest and closed my legs, feeling shy once more. He frowned and placed his hands on my hips. This gesture made my hands fall to my sides but my legs remained tightly closed. He scoffed and roughly forced my thighs open. I tried to close them again but he shoved his knee between them.
"Ah ah princess. A toy like you dont have the right to be shy. You're just a useless toy who needs her master to train her hmm?" He whispered teasingly.
"Y-yes." I breathed out, his words at actions making me dizzy.
"Good girl."
I dont know if I obeyed him because of how needy I was, or the way he talked to me. Either way, his pet names and actions only made me want him more. I closed my legs around his knee, trying to create even a little bit of friction. I was desperate for even the slightest touch which he starved me from. He held my hips and I slung my hands around his shoulders. He kissed my neck, his teeth pulling and nipping at my skin. I seemed to long for oxygen more with every kiss.
He did not hesitate at all to mark me as his. He was rough, but also gentle with his actions as he claimed me. With every second that passed, I wanted, needed more of him. He held my hips with a bit more force and his nails dug into them slightly. Everytime I felt his teeth agaisnt my skin, small gasps and sighs escaped my mouth. He detached his lips from my neck and smirked at the marks he left on me. He then kissed me roughly which made it harder for me to kiss back. I was breathless as our mouths slid against eachother, my hands trying to grasp wherever I can on his body. He bit my lip, asking for entrance but I denied him. He mumbled something against my lips and suddenly rocked my hips back and forth against him.
The sudden pleasure made me gasp and he forced his tongue inside me. I tried to kiss back but it was almost impossible to. I pulled on his hair as his tongue slid agaisnt mines. He pulled away, letting me breathe and my head fell back in pleasure. He pulled me further onto him and forced my hips to grind against his clothed thigh even more. I whined, enjoying the feeling of finally receiving pleasure. My hair covered and stuck to my face but through the strands I saw him staring at me, enjoying the sight. His cheeks were tinted but his actions weren't flustered. I leaned forward, my head resting on his shoulder and I bit gently onto it. He flinched at first but surprisingly didn't push me away. I closed my eyes and my whimpers turned into soft sobs against his skin. I slowly started moving my hips in rhythm with his hands He loosened his hands on me, allowing me to move at my own pace. I started moving faster, my legs trembling against his as I approached my high. He realized I was close and removed his leg from my thighs. I whined at the loss of contact and the loss of my climax. I lifted my head up and pouted. He chuckled and pushed me completely off him.
"Look at you. I've barely touched you and you're already a mess for me." He cooed pointing out at my hair that stuck to my face and body.
He stepped back, smirking at me,"Such a messy princess."
His smile was somehow sadistic. He enjoyed this. He enjoyed seeing me want him and he loved not giving me what I wanted. He then started removing his clothes at an annoyingly slow pace. His first removed the chain that hung around his suit, then the buttons on his blazer. He was intentionally slow in his actions as he tossed his blazer outside the shower. He removed his tie but kept it hanging around his neck. He then started unbuttoning his shirt as he teased me with every action. One button. Then the second. Then the third. I waited slowly in anticipation, digging my nails into the wall to keep me from running towards him. The anticipation and pressure of his teasing got to me and I couldn't help but look away. He quickly snapped his fingers at me to direct my attention back to him.
"Look at me." He commanded.
"This is what you wanted right? Why are you looking away princess? Do it again and I wont let it pass so easily." His voice was stern but it also had a hum to it that reminded me that he was still teasing me.
I listened to his demands and forced myself to keep my eyes on him. He made me into his toy now. With every command I turn into putty and obey him and he loved it. He loved having control over my actions and using me how he pleased. His words were sharp but his tone always softened which made it apparent that his intention was not to be mean. He finally got rid of his shirt and tossed it aside. His body was littered with scars which made me guess where he got them from. The thought sunk my heart but I quickly shook them off as he walked closer to me. He was still in his pants, his bulge being highly visible. I bit my lip and crossed my legs tightly, the heavy feeling of arousal returning. He placed his hand against me on the wall and grabbed my chin to kiss him. I ran my hands down his chest and felt him flinch a bit by my movements. I ran my hands down to his pants trying to unbuckle his belt but they were quickly swatted away.
"Such a greedy princess. Did anyone tell you not to touch what's not your property?" He scoffed fully removing his belt.
He removed his last peice of clothing and my cheeks reddened at the sight. His body was on full view for me to admire. He stroked his cock a few times, small grunts escaping his lips. I placed my hands against his and guided his hands along his cock. His hand found it's place on the wall as he grunted with every stroke. He looked down and his hair fell forward as he sped up his movements. He stopped his actions but I didn't and continued to stroke him. His eyebrows were knitted and beads of sweat and water dripped down his forehead. He whispered at me to stop before swatting away my hands. His hands then found my waist again and he pulled me closer.
"Jump." He whispered.
I obeyed and jumped, wrapping my legs around him in the process. My hands were around his neck as he backed me against the wall once more. I felt his tip slide into my entrance but not the rest. He looked at me, a hint of worry showing as if he was asking for permission. My breathing was uneven and I was slightly panting from just wanting to get fucked by him. I slightly nodded and he slowly guided himself into me. I softly moaned at the feeling I longed for. My hands grasped tightly onto his shoulders as he slowly started to rock his hips. He pressed his lips against mines, his soft sighs more audible against me. He started thrusting faster into me and I whimpered against his lips. Every stroke made my body shudder in pleasure which made moans and whimpers slip from my mouth. I pulled away from the kiss and tried to catch my breath. My mind was hazy from the pleasure, my moans slipping more from me. He leaned into my neck, grunting at the pleasure. I raked my nails down his back feeling him wince a bit. He gripped my hips with more force, his nails digging into my skin. He pulled me closer onto him and the sound of skin slapping against eachother became louder than the shower. He bit down on my neck and my hips bucked towards him in pleasure. I tilted my head back which gave him better access to my neck. My eyes rolled back, my words coming out as incoherent slurs and whines. I was dizzy from his actions as I was only able to feel the mind numbing pleasure he gave me. I slowly lost any energy as I only wanted to feel him fucking into me. My grip loosened around him and I struggled to hold myself up against him. His thruts then sped up which snapped me back into reality, regaining my senses. My moans became increasingly louder and Saeran became more audible. I moved my hands to brush his wet hair out of his face.
"If you keep being this loud the other believers will hear you." He grunted, barely able to keep up with his words.
"I really don't care who can hear us." I breathed out, my words mixing in with my moans.
He chuckled and pulled me back in for a kiss. He kept his rough pace with every kiss, our teeth clashing together and his tongue pressing against mines. Our kiss was sloppy, both of us moaning into eachothers lips. He suddenly pulled out of me and set me down on the ground. Everytime he pulled away it killed me. I was dumbfounded by the pleasure that I never wanted to stop. He then spun me around, his hand firm on my ass and the other one wrapped around my neck. He quickly found his way inside me again and resumed his pace. My hands were placed against the wall for support, slipping and sliding off because of the water. He bent down to me and gently bit down on my shoulders. His teeth made me whimper and I bit down on my lip to try and subdue my moans.
His hand quickly tightened around my neck and pulled my head back to him, "Mmm princess you dont care who hears you right?"
I tried to reply but my words came out as whines and gasps. Instead, I nodded my head repeatedly.
"Well...? Don't hold them back princess, let everyone hear how good I'm making you feel." He chuckled and loosened his grip on my neck.
He started fucking into me faster and I allowed my moans to helplessly fall from my mouth. He removed his hand from my neck and held my wrist tightly as he focused more on his thrusts. I felt my orgasm approaching and I started pushing myself back onto him, chasing after my release. His grip however, tightened around my waist and forced me in place. He slowed down his thrusts and started moving at an agonizingly slow pace. I became impatient and tried to force my hips back onto him but he quickly pulled out of me. I whined but he gave me no response and started teasingly sliding against me.
"You're close arent you?" He hummed in delight. I just whimpered in response while nodding my head.
"Well beg for me princess."
His command startled me which made me hesitant but I complied regardless.
"Saeran please I..." I sighed, my words trailing off.
"Mm? I can't hear you." He teased me further.
"Saeran please I need you!-" I screamed but my words were cut off when he spun me around and picked me up.
He slammed himself back into me, thrusting as fast as he can. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him, my moans being muffled by his shoulder. I felt my orgasm approach again and he thankfully didn't stop.
"Saeran...fuck...I." I whined as I tried to warn him but my words wouldn't form.
He got the hint and pushed off his shoulder. I quickly grasped onto his shoulder, a string of curses falling from my lips. My legs trembled around him and I repeated his name desperately as I came around him. I panted heavily as the fatigue dawned on me but he kept thrusting into me. He leaned into my neck, mumbling incoherent words as his thrusts became sloppy. His words were nothing but incoherent mumbles that got drowned out by the water.
"Saeran, please cum for me." I begged, hoping to push him over the edge.
He mumbled a quiet 'fuck' before slowing down. His hands tightened around me and he bit harshly onto my shoulder as he came. He kept thrusting until he became over sensitive and pulled out.
My legs were still wrapped loosely around his waist as I was too tired to hold myself up properly. He kept panting from his orgasm as he tried to slow his breathing down. I slumped down onto his shoulder and closed my eyes. His hands remained on my hips but they twitched, as if they wanted to let go but also hold on. We stayed there for a moment, not saying anything to eachother. I wanted to say something but I was too tired and breathless to do so. I tried to stop myself from falling asleep but my eyes refused to open.
I felt him shiver against me, the water making both of us cold. His words were incoherent to me as I drifted in and out of sleep. His tone was recognizable however and his words had a gentle undertone to them. The sound of water stopped and I was being carried somewhere. I was then freed from his embrace when I was placed on my bed. I felt the blankets shift around me but they fell back onto the bed without covering me. Saeran scoffed and the last thing I heard was his footsteps fading away before drifting off to sleep.
The End
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Written by Dangerousfellowshoe.
#suit is really hard to write#also smut sucks but its okay#saeran#mystic messenger saeran#saeran choi#saeran x reader#mysme saeran#mystic messenger smut#mysticmessenger#mystic messenger#mysme
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on ch 82 and what the hell is the deal with phos
super long wall of words ahead, you've been warned. also, im not qualified to discuss the emotional effects of trauma, so please correct me where im wrong and don’t hesitate to add on this post
contains an analysis of phos’ character arc, explanation on why and how they snapped and what might happen to our child next:
1. genki phos 2. post winter phos 3. laphos 4. on trauma 5. on snapping 6. speculations about the future
so, first things first, I could not help but notice the sheer number of parallels between this chapter and other significant points of the story. it seems to me that parallels are becoming more and more frequent as the moon arc goes on, and that’s not just because there are simply more chapters to draw parallels from as the story grows in size.
I believe that we’re at a turning point in the story, or even that the turning point has been reached, (aechmea telling barbata to fix phos for the umpteenth time is most likely going to give phos the last treasure, but ill get to it).
so, to try and understand what in the seven hells is going on with our baby at this point (the fandom collectively adopted phos since chapter 2, sign the papers if you haven’t already and donate to the fund to send phos to therapy) let’s retrace phos’ character journey.
1: genki phos
the phos who is too good for this world, too pure, the cinnamon roll who has no idea what the hell is gonna happen to them. oh joy.
hnk sets off as a coming of age story. phos is the youngest, they’re seemingly useless in a society that values usefulness above anything else so genki phos is initially driven by lack of purpose.
i’ve speculated already on the characteristics of the lustrous society, a society that emphasizes sameness over difference and that has no place for outcasts like phos and cinnabar. your value, in lustrous society, is dictated by how much and in which way you can contribute to the survival of the species, with elite fighters (the diamonds) being at the apex of the social pyramid and everyone else coming after.
additionally, while gems live in a highly interdependent and close-knitted society, such interdependence never takes into account emotions, loss, imagination, introspection and free-thinking. the society is extremely practical, apathetic, immobile, and everyone is expected to conform to that.
think about antarc: they’re the poster child of lustrous society: a 3 mohs hardness gem who managed to become an elite fighter out of sheer willpower, who’s blindly loyal to sensei, who sacrifices themselves for the greater good (the group’s interests > the individual’s interests), that does little if any introspection and that is happy about all of this and wants to leave it this way.
phos isn’t like this at all.
since the very beginning of the series we learn that phos is an anomaly. and that’s okay, other gems have been anomalies, like padparadscha, cinnabar, even antarcticite, but while those gems found a way to tip toe to the margins of lustrous society to remain unobtrusive exceptions, or forge themselves into proper, useful members of the group, phos cannot do that. which is ironic, because we know that one of phos’ core characteristics is that they’re able to change and to bring about change in a world that is as immobile and still and stiff as… well.. rock.
like @ruddy-rutile pointed out in a past analysis, phos’ problem wasn’t so much that they didn’t fit in, but that they didn’t fit in the appropriate way: they’re emotional, they’re loud, they’re unreliable, they’re not apathetic. they’re kind. compassionate. imaginative. and imagination is something the other gems lack.
this fuels a deep sense of self-hatred that even at this early stages of the story is lying just beneath the surface and oozes out quite easily, like when phos wants to help ventricosus and mumbles that it’s no problem if they die in the attempt, they’re a good for nothing after all, what difference would it make if they dont come back. at least they were able to help someone, contrary to how they were unable to help cinnabar.
this is the leitmotif of the series: phos is a kind, selfless gem who cultivates a deep sense of self-hatred. the internalized pressure and need to feel useful turns into a necessity for change. they need to save cinnabar, they need to save ventricosus, they need to become a fighter, they need to help sensei.
contrary to most of the other gems, phos loves and loves openly and unconditionally, they’re self-less by nature and that selflessness is a barrier that hides the real reason theyre so ready to put their life on the line for other people: the fact that phos thinks that their own life isnt wort a scrap.
as someone who believes to be worthless, guided by shame and guilt just for being alive and fueled by a deep desire to feel loved and accepted (just like a child), phos is unable to cope with grief and emotion if not by guilt tripping themselves even further.
the fact that the amethysts were almost taken is their fault, the fact that cinnabar is suicidal is their fault, the fact that antarc was taken is their fault, same with ghost’s abduction. the only way phos knows to cope with this guilt is by doing what every other gem does: bury these feelings deep inside their head and throw themselves into work. be useful, like alexandrite, rutile or red beryl.
2. post winter phos
what was a story about purpose, about phos’ coming of age, reaches an end at this very point, with antarc’s death. phos has become stronger at this point of the story, they have agathe legs and gold arms and they have grief to cope with, trauma.
just like alex’s job is studying the enemy and red’s job is making clothes, phos’ job is the one they originally desired for themselves: to fight. because there is nothing as valued as a good fighter in gem society and probably young phos unconsciously hoped to overcome self-hatred by taking on the most useful job there is.
post winter antarc is a skilled soldier, so skilled that bort wants to pair up with them. phos has reached their old goal: through loss and maturity, now they have a place within their society, they’re accepted and appreciated, valued but not loved. because these gems are so, so bad at emotions.
and this is where ms ichikawa begins to fool us all. she had us think that this story would be simple, but now hnk starts its steep and unrelenting detour toward existentialism and phos begins their dance toward madness and bottomless grief.
post winter phos is a soldier, they can fight off lunarians, but theyre still blaming themselves for antarc’s death.
we already said that phos is a very emotional gem and they possess a fervid imagination (probably just like lapis). so what do they do? they start thinking. “maybe i can retrieve antarc if we collect enough pieces. if i can communicate with the lunarians. if i can understand why we’re fighting.”
thinking quickly turns into questioning: why are we fighting? why are we so weak? why am i different? what changed me? is it the new additions, is it just life experiences? can we change? how can we change? antarc told me i shouldnt shy away from life, so im gonna push myself further and further.
that’s when shiro’s arc happens and sensei seems to know something about it, something he won’t tell the gems. phos’ questions suddenly turn to him.
phos is pretty much paranoid at this point of the narrative: they have experienced loss for the first time. consumed by guilt and grief for antarc’s recent abduction (even if phos still doesnt know what death means, we’ll get to that in a while), phos cannot think straight. they can’t be questioning the one authority every gem recognizes, the person phos and everyone else wants to protect, their leader, father, teacher.
phos feels like scum just for even thinking about it, as loyal and young as they are. and yet once you start questioning one minuscule thing about the way you have always lived your life, more and more will follow. it’s a cascade effect and it becomes faster the higher the number of questions, until you’re left with nothing but doubts and you must take into your hands the responsibility to find out for yourself.
this is more or less what happens to phos. they feel awful for doubting sensei the first time, in chapter 27, so they spill their guts to cinnabar, confessing their sins. but what cinnabar says does anything but put phos at ease: of course phos is doubting sensei: he’s shady, everyone knows.
however, while cinnabar is a quiet outcast, extremely prudent (and cowardly if you want) in the way they decide to face life, phos is the total opposite. they just needed a little nudge, they were already on the edge of a cliff of doubts and existential fears. cinnabar’s words are the second, big step that sets phos off on their path to the moon.
chapter 28 is when we see phos self-destructing because of this inner conflict for the first time, a pattern that will be repeated again and again the more phos loses sight of the truth, of a reliable something, a goal to cling onto and find direction.
it is ironic, because phos becomes a direction, a goal, the gems and the moon people’s hope (ch 59 and 72), but in doing so they have no hope left for themselves. let’s not forget that phos is very young by gems’ standards, not to mention in comparison to the moon people. how fair is to expect from a traumatized child to save the world and find answers to questions that run thousands of years deep and give phos nothing in return?
the pressure is enough to break phos and it does, quite literally, over and over and over again.
3. Laphos
lapis’ head comes at a time when phos was literally no longer able to manage this pressure.
it brings a waft of fresh air, it brings what emotional, kind phos needed to detach themselves from grief: coldness, rationality. and yet, it takes something away from phos as well: laphos is the phos that can no longer talk with cinnabar, the phos that brings cairn to reject the gems altogether and launch themselves into their kin’s killer’s arms. laphos is the gems and lunarians’ hope for a brief time, then it becomes the enemy.
i find it interesting how phos feels responsible for goshe and morga’s abduction too, even if phos was unconscious when it happened. phos has no clear boundaries between themselves and the rest of the world. they feel responsible for everything and guilty for everything. whatever they do will never be enough neither to make up for their past mistakes nor to find everyone a clear sense of purpose, safety, truth.
ichikawa plays with truth a lot. truth is that the lunarians are bad people and the gems must defend themselves, truth is that sensei is shady, truth is that the moon people are actually good, truth is that death is real, truth is that sensei is evil, truth is that cinnabar hates phos, truth is that the gems are evil, truth is that sensei is the only one that loves phos. who knows what the next truth will be, but can you call it truth, at this point?
if there is one point, i believe, that ichikawa is trying to make clear is that truth is subjective and that it changes, just like phos’ goal, the more knowledge you acquire and the more mistakes you make. truth is subjective but it must be sought after: you gotta keep fighting, you gotta move on even if you keep making mistakes, even if you cant undo your actions.
and another thing i think she’s trying to say is that you cannot make it alone. the moment phos tried to take it all on their shoulders, they moment they acquired lapis’ head, is the moment everything came crumbling down ten times faster than before.
and the most ironic part is that phos is still kind, even underneath that mantle of aloofness: they tried to do everything by themselves because they didn’t want to put anyone in danger, but in doing so they manipulated the gems just like aechmea. and aechmea knows and he’s been using phos for this.
4. Even more trauma
running after truth and after newer and more nuanced goals, phos has completely lost sight of themselves.
where do their alliances lie? what about their history? phos wakes up in ch 72 after the night raid and immediately breaks into pieces because they’re reminded of how cinnabar attacked them, the one gem they thought was their friend. one of the few truths phos had been clinging to.
phos wakes up after the night raid and asks the enemy “to the lunarians i look like a gem and to the gems i look like a lunarian. what am i?”
they break into pieces because they still believe they’re useless. they couldn't save cinnabar, they couldn't save antarc, they couldn't communicate with the earth gems, they couldn't even see adamant.
this is reminiscent of the very beginning of the manga: phos needs to feel useful, they need a goal, they need to be good at something. and just like they were ready to get lost at sea forever to help ventricosus they’re ready to die for someone else’s cause (not even phos’ own because they have no idea what to believe in at this point) just to be of use. after all, to phos, phos is nothing more than a scrap.
euc disagrees. ch 71 “we need you in our future” is a sentence that phos has probably ached to hear for centuries. “we need you. you are loved, you mean something, you are enough. you belong. we cannot build a future where you aren’t part of the equation. you matter”
and look at the way phos looks at euc. they can barely believe them and in fact they don’t. phos expresses some concern about dying (”after all, those less than 5 includes me”) but they still throw themselves into danger, they still take no care of themselves.
Phos’ self hatred and self-destructive tendencies run deeper than euc’s words could ever cut. those words meant well, but they were too little too late. phos thinks they don’t deserve this kind of hope, they cannot understand it, cannot fathom a world in which they are true and so they will go on believing that they are alone and worthless. next time they go on earth, they’ll go alone and unharmed
it is ironic. they did so much, they went to the moon and back multiple times, put their life on the line multiple times, made more progress toward unveiling the truth about the lunarians and finding a way for them to be free of samsara than anyone else did in hundreds (presumably) of thousands of years. they did it by themselves. in barely three hundred years. that’s impressive. and yet it’s not enough for phos. in their mind, they just keep failing.
so what’s the big deal? they can sacrifice themselves, it’s the least they can do and no one will miss them after all. unfortunately, this is true, at least to some extent.
im appalled by how little even the moon gems care about phos. they’re so self-centered it’s almost funny.
even alex, who has gone through loss and grief if not as much at least in a way similar to phos cannot find enough compassion in themselves to be concerned about phos’ wellbeing after a few months on the moon.
ive heard people mention how this could be a result of the moon people injecting who knows what into the gems or manipulating them someway or another, but i believe that there was no need to. phos is an anomaly after all, their kindness is an anomaly. the lustrous are little more than self-centered children: they are able of little if no introspection and they cannot process complex emotions like grief if not by shutting off those emotions altogether.
the moon gems are still vaguely concerned about phos. in ch 76, when phos departs for earth for the last time, they do tell them to be careful and come back if things get bad, but they do little more than that. it’s little comfort and too little emotional closeness and by no means close to the huge amount of support and (emotional) assistance that phos needs at this point.
phos tries to make do with what they have: a will to end this war and the superficial words of what should be their family, but it’s not even remotely enough. and yet phos, just like any other lustrous, is very bad at introspection: they don’t notice or if they notice they repress it. what’s one more thing down the subconscious after all? it’s fine. phos can take it, until they can no more and they snap without having any idea that they will snap.
phos’ journey, which has made them increasingly more emotional, fragile and human (the last one quite literally) has also made phos even more alone than they were at the beginning of the story. more alone, with the same sense of worthlessness, the same urgency to be good for something or self-destroy, and so much more grief, trauma, guilt and repressed emotions.
5. snapping
“I mustn’t think of anything” phos reminds themselves in ch 76. because thinking never brought anything good and because euc would see right through it.
once again, phos is repressing emotions. here they go, trying to be a cold blooded killer, ready to betray sensei again, the one person who has been good to them and that phos tried to hate with all their heart but just couldnt.
as ive written in a previous analysis, one of aechmea’s lowest blows was to tell the gems he was exploiting and manipulating to reach a salvation he doesnt deserve that if the gems want to acquire freedom they must do so by themselves. talk about coherence.
but that isnt all, he sinks even lower than this: he makes phos and the others question sensei’s affection for them. he says that sensei’s love is fake, it’s synthetic, the gems should totally make him pray or destroy him, no remorse, no strings attached. it’s such a dirty move.
no wonder it confuses phos even more. phos believes it, or tries to, they say they want to break sensei into pieces, but after the night raid they realize that it cant be that simple. sensei never attacked them. he has always been good to phos. and phos feels even more worthless, more of a traitor for daring believe in love, in sensei’s affection, when here they are, on the lunarians’ side, ready to betray him again.
how dare phos hope for anything? they dont deserve love, they dont deserve hope, they dont deserve happiness. they can try to give it to other people, they’ll kill themselves in order to do so, but they have no more hope and no love left for themselves, and they had so little to begin with.
as ive said, phos has little self-awareness and little introspection. i do believe that they had no idea they were going to snap until they did. even in ch 77, when sensei tells them he cannot pray, phos spends their last seconds of consciousness (before being attacked by all of the gems) to kindly ask him to pray. they dont care about themselves, but they dont reflect long enough to consider that reaching out to sensei like that could be interpreted as hostile by the paranoid earth gems. i think this is the first sign that phos is about to snap: they’re quite literally desperate.
tired beyond measure and forced to spend 220 more years in isolation, broken into pieces scattered all over the island, when phos comes to their senses again once kongo reassembles them they’re beyond despair. this war is taking the last toll on them and phos has no more energy to go on.
“please,” they say “pray. do it for no one else but me. grant me mercy,” from one bodhisattva to the other. they’re still somewhat normal, but when sensei fails to pray again phos can’t take it anymore. desperation and rage, fueled by hopelessness, worthlessness, grief and exhaustion make phos launch themselves against sensei, which, ironically, it’s exactly what the story needs.
apparently, phos is human enough to activate sensei but not human enough to make him pray. however, when the two of them join hands, sensei can actually pray. maybe it’s because both phos and sensei are intended to be bodhisattva? maybe because human voice commands are not as strong as contact? i have no idea.
phos has snapped by the way, and it’s weird how they go from “If only you weren’t here” to “sensei actually loves me” in a couple of chapters. in a certain way, we’re seeing phos going back to their roots: they love sensei and trust in sensei’s love, they’re once again openly emotional and impulsive, they’re once again ostracized by the gems (of course, much more violently this time).
i have written about how, after ‘fusing’ with sensei for a brief second, phos doesnt speak for the entirety of ch 81. they look and act like a literal monster, a scared animal, which is ironic since we know that they’re now human. i hypothesized that they might be reborn and that’s why they don’t speak, they’re a literal infant, but in light of ch 82, i think they’re simply hurt beyond measure.
they reversed to their old emotional persona, vomiting out all the emotions and pain and rage and hate they repressed during these 300 years. and yet they still don’t hurt anyone, not as much and as deliberately as they could at least.
they’re conscious enough to recognize the notebook and be reminded of their lost friends, realize how little the earth gems care for phos and for what they’re doing. and, i believe, when phos is rescued and comes back to the moon, they are, for the first time in the whole manga, enraged by the earth gems’ stupidity and sheer ungratefulness.
phos has been fighting for the wellbeing of everyone for centuries, putting their life on the line, never asking for anything in return and always believing that they were doing the right thing. and yet it’s not enough.
aechmea is a clever politician, and like every good politician he’s good at picking up changes and turning them in his favor.
he notices that there’s something wrong with phos and with the way they feel about the gems. maybe he doesnt yet realize that phos is angry at them for being ungrateful, but he senses something so he provokes phos: “you said to leave you on earth last time. did you change your mind?” that is “i’m not your enemy. see? im doing what you want me to do. not quite like those people down there on earth. oh, wait, were those your friends? aw, such a pity. to think they attacked you after everything you’ve done for them. but they’re your family, right? i’ll send you back to them if this is what you want. see? i’ll listen to your wishes. i am grateful.”
look how intently he looks at phos as phos incoherently and obsessively repeats the same thing over and over: “he would have prayed. he would have prayed for me. he loves me. he would have prayed.” if you want, this is also a syìubtle way for phos to apologize: they still feel responsible for their failure, but aechmea must understand: phos did everything they could, it would have worked, it was the gems’ fault.
adamant put phos back together, showing phos that he still cares. he is the only one that loves phos, while the gems (all gems, phos doesnt care much for differences at this point) keep hurting phos even if phos is only trying to help. so they must be killed. to hell with them all. and, notice, phos doesnt include themselves in the ‘gem’ category: they’re no longer a lustrous. they’re a monster, a liminal creature.
with nothing left to believe in if not sensei’s love and a promise to make him pray and then die in peace, phos wants to destroy the only thing that they believe stands between them and finally being useful, but also between them and freedom (freedom from suffering, from guilt, from existing, from their pain, from being): the gems.
this isn’t the first time that phos wants to kill something: in ch 68 they spoke about crushing sensei to pieces. it’s heartbreaking how phos went from “if only the moon people weren’t here” to “if only sensei weren’t here” to “if only the gems weren’t here.” will it turn into: “if only i weren’t here?” who are phos’ allies? who does phos feel kinship with? who is phos? they no longer know, and they’ve not known for a long time.
aechmea has noticed and he’s quick to turn the situation to his advantage. he shakes phos’ hand, he’ll grant them freedom just like phos will grant the lunarians’ freedom. he’ll forgive phos for failing, for their sins, for the bottomless despair and guilt that phos has been living with for centuries. salvation, hope, that is all phos needs.
as @rinboz pointed out, phos’ gold in ch 82 takes the shape of a lotus seed pod, a direct reference to when antarc was abducted and the gold had turned into a lotus flower.
through pain, phos had blossomed into a new character that day, marking the beginning of their long journey toward truth and toward discovering that there is no truth. the day the story changed from a coming of age manga to something much, much more intricate.
phos’ pod is empty, they have nothing left to lose, it’s a dead flower. this is the end of the journey that started with antarc’s abduction. when phos wakes up again, it will probably be with new memories and a new addition to their body, possibly red diamond.
phos’ self destruction has reached its apex because it finally became so intense to extend outwards, to other people that, in their immense grief, phos wants to bring down with them. this might be a minuscule form of progress: anger is better than repressing emotions at least, but phos’ problems are far from being solved.
6. on the future
what will be of phos then? it really depends.
the fact that they’re finally showing all that sufferance and those emotions they tried so hard to repress is good, but aechmea is still there to take advantage of it.
phos will never be free as long as they dont associate themselves with someone that truly loves them and as long as they cant find someone that can help them deal with their emotions. aechmea is just using them and only ichikawa knows what he meant when he told barbata to be careful with those 200 years emotions.
theoretically, phos was unconscious during the timelapse, but if there are emotions to treat carefully maybe they weren’t? maybe the change we’ve seen in phos this chapter depends on what they had to endure during that time. or maybe aechmea simply wants to make sure that his pet is easy to use.
i do believe we’re close to the end. i dont know if it will be the end of the series or just the end of phos as we know them. i could hope for something good to finally happen to them and for them to heal, but it would take a therapist or someone that loves phos.
maybe euclase could side up with sensei, they seemed the most concerned about phos’ status and the most prone to believe them. maybe goshe and cicada could do something again, maybe rutile will fix padpa once more and padpa will talk with the earth gems (not very likely, but im throwing theories left and right at this point), or maybe barbata will refuse to follow aechmea’s instructions, at least in part, and try to help phos.
as always, im afraid we’ll have to wait. in the meantime, please hug phos. if you read up to this point hug phos. hug them now and shower them with love, because no one else will
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